Traumatic

Traumatized - 8

!TW - Anxiety, Panic, Crying, Blood!

Charlie's pov:
"How will I be able to go to school tomorrow?" I sob. I stand on the stairs and look at Nick and Tori sitting at the dining table. My eyes are full of tears, blurring my vision. My mind is spinning and I can't get any words out.
"How?.." I mumble again and I can feel my legs getting weak and shaky. I sit down on the stairs and put my face in my hands, let the tears flow. I feel so lost in my own body, in my own life. Whatever I think about, it brings me back to what ben did - one way or another. And now Im expected to go to school tomorrow like nothing has happened?

I hear footsteps coming from the kitchen that approaching to me. When the steps ends, I look up from my hands and wipe my teary eyes. Tori is sitting in front of me, crouching. She looks at me with a soft look, which hides some worries as well.
"I.. I think it's best if you follow Nick home.." Tori says hesitantly. I look at her with wide eyes, and with a look written over my face that asks why.
"You will be able to feel better there.." she continues.
Tori turns to check on Nick, he gives her a look of agreement. He then looks at me and gives me a warm smile before I break our eye contact and look down. When I look into Nick's eyes for too long, I starting see Ben's eyes instead. Why do I have to feel this way? All I want is to be able to forget everything and not have to be afraid, I want to be able to kiss and cuddle with Nick as if nothing has happened.

I think for a moment about what Tori said. Maybe it's better for me to be at Nick's house. I might not be triggered in the same way, plus my mom won't be able to scream at me and make me feel even worse. I look up at tori who is still sitting in front of me, waiting for an answer. I nod my head slightly and all three of us decide that the plan should be carried out. I go straight up to my room to pack some things. I find a backpack that I can pack in. Next, I go to the closet and take out some useful clothes to have with me. When I'm done packing I go out of my room. But when I'm about to close the door, I get an overwhelmed feeling through my body. It feels like I forgot something important. I know I shouldn't, but I open the door again and look around my room. With quick steps I go in again and grab the scissors from my desk. It still has a bit of blood on it. I put it in my bag before running down the stairs. In the hall, both Nick and Tori are waiting for me.

Nick's POV:
We have now just left Charlie's house and started our 10 minute walk to my house. I think Charlie likes being outside, getting some fresh air. But at the same time he feels very uncomfortable and scared. We walk for a few seconds, before he stops and looks anxiously around. Then we continue walking for a few seconds, before he stops again. And so it continues. It's like he's scared of Ben coming or of Ben to see him - which I can understand is scary for him. But ben also lives on the other side of town, so him being here is very unlikely.

After a few minutes, Charlie stops again, looks around. But this time much more carefully, anxiously. I see him start to shake before looking at me with a scared look. I don't know what to do, I don't know what he's so afraid of - I only have suspicions.
"Can I... is it okay if I hold your hand?" I ask, looking at him. He gives a nod and holds out his hand for me to take. Carefully and hesitantly, I grab his cold hand, before looking him in the eyes.
"It's okay char, it's just you and me here. I will protect you. You are safe". My words come out trembling. Charlie looks around again before starting to sob. I squeezes his hand a little extra tight so he can feel I'm here. After a while, when Charlie feels mentally ready, we continue our walk home.

Sarah's POV:
Im in the kitchen and making a cup of coffee when I hear the front door open. It's Nick, with Charlie by his side. I welcome them both. Nick smiles at me but Charlie just looks down at the floor, doesn't say anything, doesn't move. He just has his eyes on the floor.
"You can go up to my room if you want, tell me if there's anything" Nick whispers to Charlie and Charlie quickly runs up the stairs and disappears. I look at Nick who is standing in the hall, taking off his shoes. It's not like Charlie to be THAT quiet and withdrawn. I mean, of course Charlie doesn't like attention - but I've never seen him being this quiet.
"He.. he was quiet" I say lowly to Nick and look at him with a worried look. He walks closer to me and looks at me with a sad face. Before he can say anything, his tears start to well up. I quickly embrace him and ask what has happened, I'm so confused right now.
"Some.. something happened.. today.. at school. He is very scared.. after that. I feel like I can't do anything. I feel.. so.. so powerless right now" Nick sobs and breaks down even more in my arms. I hug him tighter and rubbing him on the back. After som time, I break out of our hug. I look at my beautiful boy and wipe some of the tears from his cheeks.
"It's okay Nicky. I think you do more than you think. No matter what has happened, Charlie needs your support, and just being by his side is enough" I reply calmly and he nods back in response. I give him a smile and kiss on his forehead, before he also runs up the stairs. I walk into the living room and sit down on the sofa, speechless. I'm worried about both of them.