The Looking Glass - A BTS Story

CHAPTER IV - HOSEOK

As he searched for the locations on his GPS, one was registered as work. When he saw it he thought that things didn't change as much. The company he worked for was an entertainment agency, a big one, and from the look of his car and the things he owned, the pay was probably reasonable. Maybe he was a successful idol again in this life.

The building he arrived at, after following the GPS, was tall and in a good location. He could smell the money everywhere he looked. But he had no idea where to go, so he got close to the receptionist desk.

"Hello, Mr. Jeong", an attendant greeted him, before he could utter a word.

"How are you?", he answered with his standard J-Hope smile and she blushed. Apparently, that was not the personality she expected.

"They are still on the way, but you can wait for them in studio 32-B".

"They?", that was supposed to be an inner question, but he said it out loud.

"The Lynxx", she answered confused.

"Ah, right...". He wasn't 100% sure who they were, but they were probably part of some idol group. Was he one of them? He wasn't sure, but since the receptionist differentiated them and him, he most certainly wasn't.

As he went upstairs, he looked them up. There was a lot about them on the internet, and many dancing videos. He recognized the dancing style of many songs. It was something he would have thought of... And maybe he did. There were some rehearsal videos and he could identify himself in one of them, as a member of the ensemble. He was wearing a mask, and even his mother may not identify him; but observing his steps and movements in general, he was pretty certain it was him. He checked the archives, documents and emails on his phone. He was the choreographer responsible for some of their latest dances. He was also responsible for at least six other groups, including girl groups and boy groups. There was also a video of him and some dancers practicing a new song, that was probably what they came to train today.

As he looked at the choreography, he massaged his temples and sighed. The receptionist told him they would still take half an hour to an hour to arrive as there was a problem in their photo session. He had this short time to learn the choreography and get ready to teach it. That was too much, even for him. But he had to do his best if he wanted to keep living as this alternate version.

"Ah...", he let out a sigh. He got to the studio the receptionist indicated and practiced. He felt his body shiver after the effort, and took mental notes about many steps that, with his idol experience, he thought could be better expressed. As a long time idol, he learnt many things that went beyond dancing and singing. When he entered the stage, he was a dancer, a singer, but also an actor and an entertainer. Every step of choreography needed a meaning and an intention to shine in the fans eyes. Every muscle in his body was conditioned to act in the "right" way the public saw him. His smile had rust, for staying too long in that position. Sometimes he felt like a Barbie Doll, forever having to smile. Smiling after the unending working hours, the rehearsal, the obsessive fans, their deteriorating mental health that no one cared for, the end of their private lives. Everything had to be faced with a never changing smile. In a way, he pitied those kids, because the route they chose was a hard one, full of thorns and lies. It had many good things, but the shadow always hovered over them.

When the group arrived, nine boys, some so young they were certainly still at school. The youngest looked fresh out of puberty. They just debuted, and were doing their best to establish themselves in the industry. He remembered that time, a decade ago. They did their best, and succeeded. That was a rarity, but still they made it. And their time became even scarcer, their private lives inexistant. And they were so young to face this world. But they were probably a lot like him when he was their age: their minds full of dreams and ambitions. He couldn't break that.

He worked with them until late. Reviewing, adapting, correcting. Most of them have trained for a long time, some for the biggest part of their lives – which wasn't that much, considering their age; and was even scarier because of that. When they finished, they looked exhausted. Still, they had another appointment before going home. At least that he would be capable of enjoying: going home "early".

Early was a relative term, but he would be able to go home and that was enough. That was a strange feeling, finishing work and just being able to have a life after that. For a long time, he lived in a world where his private and public life merged, and he no longer saw the limit between his private and public persona. He got used to hiding on his way home so people wouldn't figure out where he lived, and so he could have some rest from the famous person's life.

The mirror version of himself lived in a small apartment, but it was cozy and homey. The place was unfamiliar and familiar at the same time: he didn't remember any of those things but when he looked at them, he could imagine himself buying them, using them or just looking at them. It was as if he had bought all of them for himself. He went to the bathroom and washed away that crazy day. As he dressed, he looked at the mirror and said to his image:

"How could you and I be so much different and so much alike?" He asked the ghost of his other self.

He put on his pajamas and lay on the bed. He picked up his phone and checked his schedule for tomorrow. He had to train one group - LV3T - in the morning and had three choreographies to memorize; and had to teach some trainees in the afternoon. He watched the videos of the choreographies his parallel self prepared for LV3T, took some notes on things he would wish to rearrange, and some adaptations he thought to make it look better at stage.

It will be a long day tomorrow. He thought before going to sleep.