Paper Memories

Chapter 25-I

But today is an exception--- nangulit kasi si Ricos pumunta sa club.

Then unexpected guest arrived, Nabi bolted inside the club with a costume in hand. Pagewang-gewang pa ang hakbang niya papunta sa akin habang sobrang laki ng ngisi niya." Sheena! Look I finish my costume! Ang ganda diba?"

"C-Careful. Matatapilok ka nyan kakamadali mo, Nabi."

"I. Made. Something. Beautiful.Sheena."

I raised my brow, bothered on how she's still swaying." Well, sure? Maganda nga. Pero hindi naman ako nakikipag-kompetensya gumwa ng props."

Ricos lift his head away from his sketch." Gusto mo suotin agad, Ate Nabi?"

"Baka may kailangang adjustment pa yan. Ipakita mo nalang sa akin sa dress rehearsal natin." Nabi's eyes are just fixated on me, she won't even throw a glance on Ricos who is drawing in the corner. " Also your other props is not completed yet. Di ko tapos vfx mo. Mas bagay pareho mo suot."

She lifted her shirt." I'd show it!"

I gasp.Maghuhubad siya." H-Hey! Ricos is in the room!"

"I'm not looking! I won't, Ate Nabi!" Nag-iwas si Ricos ng tingin. I motioned him to get up and stop her too. But then he went behind me instead and sat there. Ricos built is so small he could actually just hide like that. Nakatalikod nga siya at nakasanday na sa akin pero nandito pa rin siya kahit na maghuhubad si Nabi!" I'm not here! You can't see me!"

"Don't look, Ricos. Understand?"

"I won't! Just tell me when she's finished!"

That wasn't my issue! Inulit ko ang pagsaway. Sira talaga ang dalawang to, hindi sila nakakaintindi! I turned to Nabi with so much frustration." At ikaw Nabi umayos ka ha."

But she didn't listen.

Nabi pry her clothes of one by one until she's just on her underwear, she have such a short stature and voluptuous figure. Her skin like a porcelain doll. She didn't thought of turning the other way so she could have some privacy. Dahan-dahan niya isinuot ang nymph costume niya at naupo sa harapan ko.

Trying her best to look as endearing as possible...

"He's a kid. It doesn't matter."

"Ricos eighteen. A kid maybe, but a guy nonetheless. Okay?"

Nagkibit balikat lang siya at gumapang papalapit sa akin. I watch her nonchalantly until we're face to face. Then Nabi embrace me, and rested her head on my shoulder. Acting as if its just the two us here."...Men again, men and men its all about them...But men really are scary, Sheena."

"Are they now, Nabi?" Tanong ko habang hawak ang balikat niya. So small and so fragile I could break her. Her costume's zipper is still open and my fingers could touch her bare skin, it's the combination of her coldness and warmth. I breathed in sharply and tried to get Ricos on my side." Bakit ganto ang sinisimulan mong usapan? Bakit ka matatakot sa kanila? What do you got to say about this Ricos?"

Ricos hummed." Bakit mo nasabi yan, Ate Nabi?"

"It feels as if this world is theirs---mas madali sa kanila na nandito sila...Is it like this for girls everywhere? It feels as if our existence is so conditional to how they'd share their mercy for us...Boys get to have it more convenient and stronger---who made us like this?"

"You need to live your life all for yourself." Sagot ko kay Nabi

"I know! I know! What I'm asking how come its easier for them to live all by themselves! Why is it if I act a cute I'd get them to be there for me, but at the same time make they'd make me suffer for it?! I know what you think Sheena, you think this is my fault because I used my appeal for men, right?!"

"No, you misunderstood me..."

"Make me understand, Sheena!"

"Living life for yourself also meant using others. Ask for their help, depend them, and exploit them. It's just how is it. There would be weak and strong, but still get to be content don't we?" I want to see Nabi face to face so I slowly push her off me, her tear stricken face surprised me." Males have their privileges so does us girls. If we got to survive and be happy that's all that matter, but I understand where you're coming from--------safety and happiness that's conditional, is so sad isn't it?"

She aggressively nods.." You think so, Sheena?"

I felt Ricos move."May gumugulo ba sayo, Ate?"

"A f-former b-boyfrined...NO.A friend. Not exactly one as well. Basta, it's just someone I know. Ayaw ko na. But I can't get away." Pagsasalaysay niya ulit sa kwentong sinabi niya sa akin noon." I just need their favour. I started to can't get by with it...I need it to be with them, and to have that thing I need those people...Ang bilis nakanda gulo-gulo ang buhay ko."

"...Ano po, Ate Nabi?"

Drugs.That what she's implying. I get it, she told me before. An outsider won't get it. She use it to escape but now she can't escape from it. How ironic. I held her by shoulders to assure her." Titingnan ko kung ano ang maitutulong ko, Nabi. So stop crying, okay?"

"Ate how exactly could you help her at al------"

"Shut up, Ricos! Boys don't get to talk now!"

"Nabi, you see even males could lose their importance... Anyone loses their worth if you take apart what makes them valuable-----Even if they're convenient creation." Salaysay ko habang pinagmamasdan ko ang paglaki ng mata ni Nabi. Maybe'd she'd like it if I put things this way. "Or maybe humans in general-----Take away their brain. Rip apart their limbs. Crush their hearts. Break their spirit. And then they'd just be a hollow and useless husk."

She sob, latching her faith on me." And that's enough?"

I leaned in as I zip Nabi's costume, I can smell her scent when I whispered right by her ear. Maybe she'd like it if I talk about men this way " Then make sure nobody loves them----make them forsaken and all alone."