Paper Memories

Chapter 17-II

Chapter 17-II

"Paano mo na naman ako nahanap?" Antipatiko tanong ni Ronald.

I stop walking even though there's only few meters between us. This is place is few blocks away from our neighborhood and is full of detours. Isa na namang uphill na tanaw ang sentro ng syuada sa ibaba." I saw you when I was in the car, kaya pinahinto ko kay Gregory at pinauna na siya..."

"Diba sinabi ko na sayo na ako na ang lalayo?"

"Hindi ka pinagseselosan ni Percival..."

I could never completely understand what men --- boys in this world think. The males of this man's world Heck, I don't even understand my own position, don't I? Kaya nasaktan ako ng mas lalo akong nilayuan ni Ronald. " Yan talaga ang unang sasabihin mo? Ano naman kung hindi? Ayoko madamay sa ano pang kaartehan o kadramahan niyo. Kaya bahala ka na sa buhay mo, Sheena."

"Ayaw mo sa madrama at OA---I could just do that." I look away when my own gaze are already piercing him like knives. I don't have the right to be angry with him." Magbabago ako---so stay with me."

In my melancholy I didn't realize that I glance at the cliff besides us. Ronald suudenly just pulled me in desparation." Palagi kang iba! Paanong hindi ako mag-aalala kung hindi kita maintinidhan?"

"...Akala mo ba tatalon ako?"

He was puzzled, and he cursed when he realized what he had done. Maybe everyone is not aware that I wouldn't kill myself just yet. Maybe, people is disgusted on how fragile I look. " I won't do kill myself, but you think so. Sobrang miserable ko ba tingnan?"

His held me gentler this time."...Pinaglalaruan mo ba ako?"

I can feel him trembling."...Gano ba ako kahina sa mata, Ron?"

"Para kang baliw sa mata ko! Sa rami ng kwento mo tungkol sayo hindi pa rin kita maintidihan, hindi ko nga maintindihan bakit dito ka nakatira. Mayaman ka diba? Sobrang sensitive mo ba dahil pinalaki kang nasayo ang lahat?" Ronald is too honest that's why he can listen. He's flawed that why he can be with me." Ayaw ko dapat sa katulad mo! Pero ikaw 'tong lapit ng lapit! Para saan pa kung may boyfriend ka at may mga kaibigan?"

I gulp." Gusto ko pati kasama sa mga bagong tao sa buha----"

Ronald glared at me, but he something behind me that made him turn white. I think he wants to run" Tangina. Wala akong pakialam sa gusto mo. Labas ako kung sawa ka na sa meron ka!"

I turn around to see the police siren. "H-Hey, you know they're not here for you!"

Ronald was about to leave and run out of pure reflex because of the police car, but he snap into his senses because of me. My voice seems to have woken him up. Pero hinila niya pa rin ako papalayo habang hawak-hawak niya ang kamay ko. " Palagi nila akong pinag-iinitan, Sheena!"

"Just calm down, please."

"Nasasabi mo yan kasi ikaw lang ang pinapakinggan nila..."

"I already told them that you are a good person. A nice boy. Mabait ka. Masipag ka. May talent---malayong-malayo ka sa panghuhusga at iniisip nila." Ako naman ngayon, ako na ang bahala. I was holding his hand as we let the police car passed by." And you would grow up to become even a better, you'd become a gentle man won't you? Hindi ka walang kwenta at basgulero katulad na lang iba. Sasabihin at sasabihin ko ulit sa kanila yun, Ronald."

His eyes softend."...Bakit?"

I shrug." Look, they're gone. Wala kang ginawa mali, okay?"

"Sabi ko, bakit tingin mo ganyan ako? Bakit mo ako pinapakialamanan?" Ronald mumbled as if he was catching his breath. Yukong-yuko na naman siya." Ano pa ba ang gusto mong sabihin ha? Hindi ka pa ba sawa?" Hindi ako nagpapatulong sayo at wala kang makukuha sakin. K-kaya umalis ka na, Ate Sheena."

"Magkaibigan tayo diba?"

"Dapat pala hindi ko na pinahaba ang usapan..."

I smirked. He's an impatient boy sometimes. I try to hold back my laugh because tears almost form in my eyes. I don't want him to have the wrong idea that I'm crying. He's already showing a guilty face to me. "Ang sasabihin ko na lang eh---Pwede bang maging magkaibigan tayo?"

He almost chuckled."...Mahilig kang mambwisit."

Napayuko din ako, I want to his smile."...Dito ka lang, please?"

Ronald raise his head."Si Percival..."

I sighed." Don't worry about him, hindi nga siya nagseselos sa first love ko eh."

Ronald finally let himself laugh." Bakit hindi?"

I shrug." Maybe Percival love me that much."

"Kung walang magiging issue na kasama mo ako at hindi mo na papasakitin ang ulo ko. Papayag ako. " Sabi ni Ronald habang hawak-hawak ang batok niya, parang nag-iisip siya kung paano niya gagantihan ang pang-aasar ko." Pero palagi naman tayong nag-uusap. Wala naman tayong ibang gagawin. Puro drama mo."

I thought for a second. Tapos ay itinaas ko ang hintuturo ko."Tulungan mo ako sa gagawin kong mga props. Sa bahay. Also call always call me Ate! Then I'd forgive you. We'll start over. Well, I should be sorry first but maybe you too!"

He pointed at his cheeks." Sampalin mo na lang ako."

"You little barbarian."

"Ano naman? Sampal lang ng babae yun ka-----"

I raised my hand. He flinch. Did he really think I'd do that? Hay, huwag naman siya masanay sa pagiging bayolente. Ang gusto ko hayaan niyang makasama ko siya I place my hand over his head instead, patting him affectionately. He was dumbfounded, but he looks at me as if he remember a distant memory."This should be fine. Bati na tayo ha?"

"Bahala ka. Ayos na ang ganto." Ronald said. I keep stroking his hair. While he stares at me as if I am slowly becoming someone else, He is mesmerized and hurt all at the same time I felt drawn to just change that face.Sana tumigil na siya sa malalaim na pag-iisip." Kung wala ka ibang matripang gawin. O kasama."

I breathed in, I want him to lean on me. "You don't need to think so much, Ron."