Vengeance ✓

11 | acceptance

"I...I can't bend," Rihanna muttered. "Can you help me? I am not supposed to, um..." she said in a low whisper. 

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Just point them out, I'll pick 'em up." I walked up to her and took out the brown boots she was pointing to.

"Here, this is the one, right?" I asked her to which she simply nodded in reply, her eyes a little moist. "Hey, are you okay?" I asked her, slowly placing my hands on her arm.

"I...no..." She shook her head furiously, as the tears escaped her eyes. "I don't know, Scarlet, I really don't." Not knowing what to say anymore, I asked her to sit on my bed, as I helped her. I had no idea what had triggered her this time, but I tried my best to try to listen because she was clearly overwhelmed. 

"I can't force you to, but if you want to talk about it, I'm here. I can't understand what you're going through but the least I can do is listen." 

I never thought I would be able to say those words to her. But I felt in that moment that I owed it to her. I shouldn't feel this way, but Adrian and I are family at the end of the day and in her womb, was a new addition to it. Even if I felt nothing towards her, for the sake of that child who had done nothing wrong, the least I could do was hear her.

"I don't know. It's been so exhausting...and every time I try to tell someone about it, all they say is that's how it's supposed to be, that at this age it's tough, mentally and physically but...no one tries to understand, no one understands the bouts of emotions that literally drown me. I...don't get me wrong, please, there are days I love everything about it but...I feel so lonely, so helpless when some days aren't better." I noticed the anger I had once seen reappear on her face as she wiped her tears before continuing. "You know what Adrian said, when I finally told him about the baby? His first reaction, Scarlet...he called our child a mistake!"

I took a second to take those words in. Had he seriously called his own doing a 'mistake'? 

"How could he? I don't understand..." I really couldn't. 

"I love him, Scarlet. But you have no idea how much I love this baby already. He...I know he loves me but ever since I told him about the baby, he has been so distant that I feel I am doing it all on my own. I...it's so pathetic but some days I literally beg him to hug me, kiss me, hold me when I sleep and even when he does, he's so distant." Her voice broke by end as she caught her hair in her fingers, shutting her eyes close to stop the tears from escaping. Can't say I didn't expect this out of Adrian but I thought he had really changed. 

"I thought you were living together because he was okay with this," I pointed out. If Adrian did not want this, why was he living with her, making it tougher for her and him as well?

"It's not like he's not helping but, there is so much hesitancy. I want him to love our child as much as I love them, but he...he doesn't, Scarlet. I know he doesn't. Everytime he flinches from holding me by my stomach, everytime he goes to the appointments, I can feel the hesitancy. He doesn't want to be a father because he's scared," she said, getting up.

"Scared?"

"Don't you get it? He's scared of himself." The last of her tears were wiped off by the back of her hand as she tried to bring her breathing back to normal. "After everything that happened with you, he's scared of himself. Scared of fucking it up!"

"I..." I don't want to feel this way, I really don't. 

This wasn't supposed to happen, any of this. But I know a lot of things have happened together. For some reason my Aunt flipped and forced Adrian to be that way towards me, somehow me leaving triggered his conscious and somehow that child in Rihanna's womb has to bear the brunt of a single mistake that began with my wretched aunt. She has no idea how many lives she ruined for a cheque, but she did.