Ill Met By Moonlight - [South Park x Male Reader]

06 - 99 Problems

'Potential Meth Threat' it read.

Oh, it was just Tweek calling. "Hey, Tweek. You good?" [M/N] asked, only being met with a panicked scream at the end of phone, causing him to pull the phone away with a pained expression. Having acute sensitive ears at the moment wasn't great. "O-Oh, sh-shit! [M/N], you're -gah- a-a-alive!" Tweek yelled, making Kenny chuckle because he could hear him through the phone.. "Shit on a stick, Tweek. My fuckin' eardrums..." The Deputy grumbled, placing the device back against his ear once more. The sporadic blonde seemed a lot more panicked than he was the other night, piquing the interest of the [eye coloured] eyed male. "Yeah I'm alive, I think. It's been a weird morning." [M/N] grumbled, getting slightly irritated from Kenny bugging him to get another drag from the smoke. "Y-Yeah -Hngh- I was r-real worried, man! A-At school, C-Cartman said h-he a-and -gah- the o-others saved you a-again..." Tweek explains, making the Deputy growl in annoyance. What the fuck was Eric doing, telling people about last night?!

"Tweek, listen to me. Whatever that fat, lying, shit-bird is saying; don't believe a word." The Deputy calmly explains, though he could feel his blood starting to boil to a point where his eyes slightly shifted colour. Kenny looks over, equally unimpressed that Cartman was spewing potentially sensitive information. "If he fuckin' slips up about the whole 'Werewolf' thing, I'll kill him." Kenny seethes, but just loud enough for Tweek to hear on the other side of the phone. "WAIT! W-Werewolf th-thing?! What Werewolf  thing?!" Tweek flips out, making [M/N] give a dirty look towards Kenny, who shrinks his head into his shoulders, looking like a kicked dog.

"Nothing Tweek, just try and calm down. We'll speak more after you're finished with school." The Deputy sternly says, hanging up the phone. Groaning, he slides it back into his pocket. "So the guy with extreme anxiety, who thinks fuckin' underpants Gnomes are real, is now gonna think Werewolves are out to get 'im too." [M/N] continues, rubbing his eyes, already tired and done with the day. Honestly, damage control if this got out could either be really bad, or nobody would believe it because it sounds completely bullshit. "Anyway, who even decided on 'Werewolves'? I didn't grow a fluffy tail or anythin', did I?" The Deputy asks, looking to the side at Kenny, who gives a shrug whilst pulling his parka's hood up. "No, but you kinda looked kinda wolfish...? Whatever, we'll go with Werewolf, because naked feral man doesn't roll off the tongue." The blonde jokes, not getting a laugh out of the Deputy Sheriff. Then again, [M/N] was a pretty serious and no-fun having guy lately. As much as he wanted to act like a normal teen, he just couldn't pull himself out of that pit he was in.

And now he has to learn how to combat a bunch of possible Werewolves, whilst being one himself. In his mind, until proven otherwise, any of the officially missing people in the case files were presumed to be a possible threat to the community. This seemed a lot more than [M/N] thought he could handle, but maybe with these new powers, he could perhaps stand a chance. And more importantly, prevent any more loss of life in his community. He was trained in parts of martial combat, boxing in his free time, he could understand people well, reading their motives and he knew how to handle various firearms. But it weren't like he could be some 'Van Helsing' type of saviour. Life would be much easier if someone like that was around. [M/N] wouldn't like the idea of some 'fancy pants' outsider, to come solve their problems though. This was his town, and he'd sure as flies on shit, will get to the bottom of it. But for now a chain smoking, Werewolf cop was South Park's best bet for survival.

"Crisis aside, could'ya drop me off at school? Stan still owes me a bag of grass after he lost at cards." Kenny asked, getting a small grunt out of the Werewolf, which he took as a 'yes'.

One short walk and about seven more cigarettes, [M/N] and Kenny made their way to Tweek's place, where the Deputy had parked his car across the street, last night, before going into the woods. But when they both got there, the two boys were met with a little gift.