Fold (Dallypop)

Chapter Eighteen: Johnny Cade

(Ponyboy's POV)

I entered the hospital room with my heart pounding like it wanted to escape. Johnny lay there, his face pale against the white sheets, his eyes looking smaller than I remembered. The air smelled of sickness and disinfectant, making me feel queasy.

"Hey, Johnny," I said softly, trying to sound brave.

He turned his head to look at me, his eyes tired but still holding some spark of life. "Ponyboy," he whispered, his voice weak.

I pulled up a chair beside his bed, feeling like I was intruding on his pain. "I'm sorry, Johnny. I'm so sorry," I blurted out, the words tumbling from my mouth before I could stop them.

Johnny managed a weak smile. "It ain't your fault, Ponyboy. None of it."

I clenched my fists, feeling the tears threatening to spill over. "But it is, Johnny. If I hadn't gone off like that, if I hadn't started the rumble, none of this would've happened."

"Don't blame yourself, Ponyboy. It wasn't your fault. None of us could've known it would turn out like this."

It should've been me. I ran into the church in the first place.

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, feeling like a little kid again. "I just wish things were different, Johnny. I wish we could go back to how they were before."

Johnny sank onto the bed, his strength fading. "Me too, Ponyboy. Me too."

I sat there beside him, feeling the weight of everything pressing down on me. The flames, the fights, the feeling of being lost in a world that didn't want us. It was all too much to bear.

As I looked at Johnny lying there, so small and fragile, I couldn't help but think of all the things we'd never get to do together. All the dreams we'd had that were slipping away like smoke in the wind.

If he recovered he'd never walk again. Busted his back when the roof fell. If. Not if, when. I didn't like if.

Johnny was lying there, all bandaged up. The air felt heavy, it made my heart sink.

"They say you're a hero," I said, trying to smile.

Johnny forced a small grin, "A hero? Nah, just did what I had to."

My mind raced, thinking of how close I came to losing Johnny. I felt a lump in my throat, unable to express the fear and relief all jumbled up inside me properly.

"You scared me, Johnny. I thought... I thought..." My voice trembled.

Johnny sighed, trying to smile too, a real smile. "I'm still here, Pony. We made it through, right?"

I nodded, blinking back tears. The room felt small, suffocating, as I tried to process the weight of what almost happened.

"I'm sorry I went into that church, you wouldn't have followed me if-"

"Pony. We saved them kids, man. That's all that matters." Johnny mumbled, he was good at mumbling.

***

I looked at Johnny, his words sinking in. He was right; we did save those kids. But the guilt still gnawed at me, whispering that things could have turned out differently.

"Yeah, but you got hurt, Johnny. Bad." I couldn't shake the feeling that I let him down.

He tried to move his head to see me better, "It's worth it, Pony. For those kids, for us. We're still here."

I nodded, the lump in my throat growing. We were still here, but at what cost? The weight of the world rested on Johnny's frail shoulders, and I couldn't shake the feeling that I should've carried more of it.

The hospital room was filled with a heavy silence, the beeping of machines punctuating the quiet. I wanted to say more, to express the mess of emotions inside me, but words failed me.

Johnny closed his eyes, exhaustion evident on his face. "We'll get through this, Ponyboy. Together."

As I sat there, watching Johnny fight his own battle, I realized that even heroes could be broken. The room echoed with the sadness of our shattered dreams, and I couldn't help but wish for a different outcome.

I stayed by Johnny's side, trying to be the friend he needed, but deep down, the sadness lingered. The flames may have been extinguished, but the scars they left were burned into our lives, a painful reminder of a day that changed everything. A day we wouldn't forget.