Mikayla Gabriella Thermopolis is the eldest sister and daughter. She was comfortable with her boring, normal life. When her grandmother tells her, she is the next heir to rule Genova. But she pays the price when being royalty. Her best friend, Micha...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
It has been a couple weeks since Micheal died. That day when he died, I died too. I am not the same person I was when the twins were born. I turned into a darker, bitter queen. That's why grandma had to step in and take over. Because I am not in the right head space. I am not afraid to admit it; I am depressed.
I dress darker, I am darker. I block out the memories by drinking. Not a glass or two. The whole bottle. Everything is going well for Mia. Her and Andrew are engaged. She gets her happily ever after. She gets what I wish I could have.
Nicholas has been helping me with the kids since I am in a poor state. I have been grateful for him. I went to a meeting recently and they wanted me to remarry to keep being queen.
I flat out declined. I am a grief stricken widow and they want me to remarry. That's cruel.
I am currently walking to my room with a bottle of vodka. I get to my room. I sit on the bed.
I look at all the pictures of Micheal and the kids. Us as a family.
I grab the picture and threw it against the wall. The picture breaking into pieces. I grabbed another picture and threw it.
Mia walks in the room and ducks as I throw my bottle against the wall.
"Kayla, are you okay?" She asked.
"No, Mia. I just lost someone that was my soulmate. I don't think I will ever be okay."
"Kayla, this isn't healthy for you. You need to get out and slowly get back to normal."
"Normal?! Normal?! You say normal! Mia, I don't know what normal is anymore! My husband is dead! I don't think my life will be normal again!"
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."
"Just get out. Get out!"
She ran out of the room. I am on my knees, crying. The pain is too much. I feel like my heart is breaking every second of the day.
My bodyguard,Ryan comes in and sits with me. It is just quiet silence. He is just a silent support system. I don't need words. I need someone just sitting with me. I just need someone to just offer support without trying to tell me what to do.
They didn't lose their husband. I did. I am grieving in my own way.
Everyone has tried to get me to move on but I can't. They are forcing me to do something I am not ready to do yet.
"You know, when my wife died. I was a mess. Just like you in fact. I didn't want no one. They were trying to force me into normal life quickly and when I wasn't ready. My soulmate just passed away. My best friend just passed away. I wasn't ready for anything." He said.
"When does it get easier?" I asked through tears.
"Kayla, it doesn't get easier. But you move on and see what life has in store for you."
"Thank you, Ryan. I needed this. I needed someone to relate to. So thank you for being a good friend."
"Anytime, Kayla. You are my friend and you are going through a hard time right now."
I felt exhausted and I dozed off on Ryan's shoulder.
I jumped awake. I had another nightmare. I looked around and my room is clean. Then I see Ryan in my chair, reading.
"A nightmare?" He asked.
"Yeah, how do you know?"
"I have them."
"You too?"
"Yeah, got since she died. Can't get rid of them."
"How do you treat them?"
"Just warm milk and a book or movie does the trick."
"Thank you."
"You don't have to thank me. I am your friend and friends support one another."
"Oh another piece of advice, don't rush into feeling well. It takes time to feel like yourself again." He says.
"Thank you."
I walk over and hug him.
He is the only one that is letting me do this my way.
With him, I feel better. That's all I needed a friend to understand my pain and he does.
I can't fake a smile and say I am fine when I know I'm not.
Besides I'm not a good liar. I couldn't pull it off.
"Who cleaned up?" I asked.
"Oh, I did. I got rid of the bottles and got the pictures fixed."
"Thank you. I just feel like crap. Just want to feel better. But between you and me, I want Michael here. I want him with me and the kids." I say.
"I know. I used to feel that way. I missed her so much that I wished I had another moment with her. I still do from time to time. Wanting to tell her about my day."
"Thanks for getting it. No one else understood. They were trying to force me to normalcy."
"You're welcome. I will help get through this. One step at a time. First on the list is get that alcohol odor off you. Go get a shower and brush your teeth."
I laughed. "Aye aye captain."
I went to the shower and got cleaned up. I felt better. I got comfortable clothes on and did a side braid on my wet hair.
"Now, you look better and smell better too."
I smiled. "Hey I got you to smile and laugh in one day." He said.
"I guess. I just trying to find my footing and with you supporting me, helps."
"Anything I can do for you, I will."
"Thank you, Ryan."
We sat on the bed and talked, telling stories.
I will get back to being me but it will take time. As long as I have Ryan to help me. I will be fine.
I got under the covers and dozed off.
"Good night, Kayla." He said and kissed my forehead.
