we, as a unit, could be
together, dancing in maroon nuance, like a ballroom to me
we could enjoy one another
whining just to sip a glass of wine with you and no other bartender
i don't hate her, i hate the idea of her
obstacles, 19 inches to the heart
i hate it
undercover lover, i need you
you said the l word last night
i screamed a lot about it
i was so afraid of what you would find in me
an old pearl in my heart. i held onto it when spring cleaning came around
cause i knew i would need it to be shined again
did you wince
when the summer wind pushed us back into the restaurant last night
and pried our hands from closeness
i'm the same girl hurting the same sentences with evil punctuation and
the same 4 emotions
yearning
realization
discontentment
& the bounty hunter's kairos
i'm saying i love you to someone i resent
holding my hands out for you instead of her
i think my wife knows i've been disloyal
she said it's in my nature the last time i confessed treason
i am an American Whore
help me, i don't care enough about her
she's supposed to have my child
a pomegranate that bears no seeds and drives me to suicide
i hate kids
we're supposed to name it mirabelle
she's going to come down here to the banks of the mississippi and kiss me
what if she wants to push me in and drown me
loving her feels like breathing in buckets of saltwater while the earth swallows me
help me, i don't care enough about that life she could have with me
because she's not here
she's never been here
she doesn't know where i am
she's not here with me
you're not here with me
the climax always occurs alone
and oh, i hate the way you look at her, rose
i just want it to be me
you want my authenticity, well here it is
i don't hate her, i hate the idea of her
obstacles, 19 inches from the heart
i hate myself
for wanting it to be me
possessiveness is a fiend who always opens his legs for me
and lets me take him, run with him
look how beautiful you are in your normality
how could i not have fallen in love?
you want to move in with me next year, let's do it
you want me to know what i want,
ill cry through 19 hours of therapy
you want to kiss me,
let's find an alleyway
you want me to go away,
i've no choice but to disappear
YOU ARE READING
An Enigma Is Too Much For A Cat To Eat
Poetrypoetry from the raw heart of a teenage girl. I wrote this poetry collection throughout my junior year of high school, when so much change was underneath the sun's aura. In and out of depression, in and out of the psych ward, I survived the first ha...
