We Should Dead Sure

ACHE 💔

AVIRAJ'S POV : 🫀

Muje nahi pta ki what happened.
I didn't knew she's scared of water.
There is no excuse for what I've done.
Even though unaware I hurted her way beyond.
I'm such an asshole.
I don't deserve forgiveness.
I don't deserve her.

But all I can think about is the time she just fainted infront of my eyes.

One moment she was the most alive person I've ever seen and the next second she lost her conscious because of me.My heart stopped when her eyes were closed.
My mind was not working.

She was in my arms , just breathing , no movement. I was shaking, I . I just couldn't see her like this. 

I panicked, it was cold , her body was cold.I rubbed her hands and feet , nothing changed.

Kuch samaj nahi aa rha tha.Kuch bhi nahi.

She was lying in my arms , she was alive I knew , but I can't see this , her in this condition.I was in acute fear.

I called kazmi, he said

"JUST PIC HER UP AND COME BACK, I'M ON MY WAY. CALM DOWN .
ABHI BAS VAPIS AA."

I don't want any I just want her to open her eyes uske bad I can face everything but ye nahi .

Before picking her up in my arms.
I held her hands and pleaded 

"UTH JA YAR PLEASE 
  KYA KR RHI HAI.
 YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE AN IDEA ABHI KYA HO RHA HAI MUJE.
 TANVEEN I LOSE OKAY , I CAN GIVE UP ON EVERYTHING FOR YOU BUT DON'T MAKE ME GO THROUGH THIS.
JAAN NIKL RAHI HAI MERI "

 I failed , my system was collapsing.

 I waited for a moment, she was still lying in my arms.

I didn't have any other option so I picked her up , shut my eyes , opened them , left all the thoughts behind, everything was fine , and started walking.

After 5 minutes of walking , I saw kazmi running towards us . His reaction after watching us drenched was like

"AVATAR KI SHOOTING KR RHE THE KYA?"

Neither of us laughed.

He said that he'll carry her half way but I denied.
I was somehow managing to not touch her skin, as she's unaware at the moment. I don't have her consent , so I had wrapped her duppata on my arm and hand to avoid contact.

It was merely minutes away from sunrise,

Kazmi begged the security guard to open the gate, he'll for sure tell the warden but vo me dekh lu ga.

I straight away took her to my room, placed her on my bed , and told kazmi to call his sister .

Call conversation:

                               KAZMI : ACHA PEHLE TO PANIC MAT KRNA. WE HAVE TANVEEN WITH US IN NOT SO VERY GOOD CONDITION.

    

                                ZEENAT : KHA HO TUM ? AND DON'T TELL ME TERA VO DOST BHI USKE SAATH HAI.

( I TOLD HIM TO SAY NO)

      

                                 KAZMI: NAHI VO IDHAR NAHI HAI. JUST BRING HER SOME CLOTHES OKAAY BYE BYE.

                HE HUNG UP THE CALL.

After 5 minutes she arrived , and I opened the door.She glared at me jese zindaa hi gaad degi muje.

I said nothing and she entered.

Me and kazmi left.
And then I went to the terrace of the hostel. 
The sun was almost up.
I was thinking, rewinding all the scenes to get a hint of what went wrong.
And tabhi Kazmi said
" She has an obsessive fear of water, but tujhe nahi pta tha so it's not your fault "

I was not in the mood to talk with anyone so I said

"BHAI CAN U JUST GO AND KEEP AN EYE ON THEM , AND TEXT ME WHEN SHE'LL WAKE UP "

"SURE BUDDY"

and he left.

Now I can feel her. I made her face the thing....
I was so frustrated.
The echoes of her trembling voice were haunting me.
The image of her lying was killing me .

I can't do this to her.
She trusted me , and what I did was terrible.
I won't even come near to her ever again.

I'll love her from a distance if my proximity hurts her.
I'll disappear from her world even if it costs me to loose myself.

I looked up at the sky and said

"PLEASE GOD , EASE HER SUFFERING AND LET THE PAIN CONSUME ME "

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
All the moments were reconciling.

HER SMILE , WHICH I'LL NEVER SEE AGAIN

HER EYES , THE WORDS THEY CONVEYED

HER VOICE , HER PLEAD TO LEAVE HER IN THAT CONDITION.

AND HER HEART OHHH GOD HER HEART WHICH I BROKE TONIGHT,

THE HEART THAT TRUSTED ME, THE HEART WHICH LOVED ME IN A WAY I NEVER DESERVED.

It was working. Remembering all those moments were helping me hate myself.

And then a text arrived

KAZMI ' SHE'S UP AND FINE. THEY'RE LEAVING.

I was so relieved , a wave of peace striked me.
I want to beg her for forgiveness, but abhi nahi , shayad kabhi bhi nahi.
I don't have this much courage to go infront of her and make her remember everything back.
Still I wanted to see her.

I ran through the stairs , mine room was 5 floors below, I did fall down twice . But it didn't matter.
I stopped near my room and hid behind the wall.
And there she was, my heart was going to burst out , but I can't cry, my eyes never shredded a tear.

She was fine . Thankgod.
She was smiling too. Thanks to Zeenat.
She walked infront of my eyes and all I could do was stand and watch her leave.

And I realised something

Hurting someone you love is worse that a bullet in your heart.
As the bullet will take your life,
But the pain will kill you every second.

THANKYOU LOVELY READERS♥️
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