[25] I Can't See

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I feel like I am not myself anymoreI can no longer stop overthinking, Please, No moreI feel like I am not getting stronger anymoreI can no longer handle pain, Please, No more

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I feel like I am not myself anymore
I can no longer stop overthinking, Please, No more
I feel like I am not getting stronger anymore
I can no longer handle pain, Please, No more

I owe to my mistakes
I misunderstand things to some extent
But I feel like I'm forbidden to make mistakes
I am deeply hurt every time I make a mistake

I'm not invalidating you
But the pain you felt, I felt it a hundred times harder
I'm not hating you
But the way you reacted, It burns a hundred times hotter

I slept for hours to cope with what I felt
Thinking whether it's my mistake that caused me this belt
I stayed up all night to self evaluate
Thinking I'm too naive yet too experienced

It's so strange, I never doubted myself this much
It's strange, I never grew this much
It's so painful, I never expected this to hurt this much
It's painful, I never knew growing up hurts this much

This is an apology letter
On a piece of paper, Revised to be better
I look back at my weak self while he's writing a love letter
Why do I feel like he's better?

What if I remained that way?
Will people still view me as the best?
At this point, People misunderstand me in a bad way
I've been better, But I'm no longer the best

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