DELICATE

[3] For Once

I've been bleeding my ink for a long time
Riding a viking, taking my time
The imagery I built with words that rhyme
The world that I've built but also destroyed everytime

Inks that bled from within me like blood
The pen that's filled with rage becoming a lightning rod
Every page filled with prayers to god
The book containing all the goods and bads

I do it every time I experience
Difficult things against this person that is resilient
They do it to me everytime, giving me experience
I have had enough, I'm already resilient

It went from one to another
Adding one every time I meet another
It's getting tiring for some and others
I'd just write a poem containing my feelings towards other

I survived a lot of great war using my own hands
People now and then steals a glance
I love the admiration of these fans
But I hate the exposure from lustful eyes

I've made them feel good using the powerful words
Giving them the brightest rays and lightest words
But once they leave after they saw the words
I get the sense, I've been betrayed by my own world

I'm jealous, I envy people I write poems about
How good it is that you're what a poem is about
Screaming from within, Not even knowing what it's about
How bad will things go, I let myself wander about

The silence while writing a poem
Indicating the chaos and rage that isn't needed
The loudness of the words in a poem
Provided the silence that the poet needed

I was wondering when will I speak this rather than write it
I want everyone to know that I'm going through it
Using the resilience I managed to create bit by bit
Passed through it, My heart is once again lit

All thanks to the ink and pen giving me free will
It's now my dream to have a book and quill
Once I have it, It will feel like I really have free will
I will carry it throughout the great war, I will

In one poem, I once vowed
I want to speak it publicly, Receiving an applause
Each poem that pulled me out of the dawn
After I speak, I'll take a bow

Thinking the success I might have
Doing all these things, Doing the things I love
Makes me wonder about all of those I loved
How will it feel for them being the topic of something I love

It all sounds great
Going through the battle that is so great
Until it does not sound so great
Because of the steps I had to take to be this great

I'm not tired of bleeding
But rather tired of hoping
If somewhere in the future someone will be bleeding
To prove that I don't always have to be the one giving

I am here to vow again
To never stop bleeding
Doing this can be healing
Because it's the cause of me bleeding

But if I ever break this vow
I wonder if that will happen while I'm aching raw
Wandering if I'll ever break my own law
Because of everything I saw

How nice it is to be the person in a poem
Before I end writing a poem
And quit being a poet
I want to be a poem

I entered this realm
Each pen is made up of gem
For once, I would like to be the poem
And not the poet