Butterflies(femxstud)

Intro

Alaisha POV:
(Uh-lay-shUH)

There's been so many times where I just wanted to give up. Times where I wanted to just end it but I haven't simply because of this feeling, this pull that always keeps me from doing it.

I have a... decent job. I'm lying I just have a job. It's definitely good money but my job and decent should never be in the same sentence. Most people in my field love their job and think it's the best.

The difference between me and most people is I can separate the wants of my heart and my mind, does that mean I listen to my heart? Nope absolutely not.

Would I if circumstances were different? Honestly I absolutely because I wouldn't have any choice.

I hated getting stuck in my head like this though, especially if I'm not able to write about it at the moment. Any kind of deep thoughts do me absolutely no justice so why have them.

I finally looked away from the small plane window and pulled out a book from the book bag I had under my seat.

Reading has always been like an escape for me, when I'm happy I read, when I'm mad I read, when I'm sad I read, bored? Read. I have other stuff I do but most of the time I read.

I heard some commotion in the seats next to me but I decided to ignore it per usual. I was currently reading The Hate U Give, definitely not my first time reading it but it's my favorite so i always have to run it back.

Starr? We love Starr there's no explanation needed, sekani is definitely my joy. Seven eats down when it comes to his job as a big brother. Now movie wise, Hailey???? Sabrina carpenter.... She killed that role because I definitely hated her for a lil bit then I remember that's still miss Riley's bestie(ifykyk).

"Excuse me-" I looked up at the sound of someone's voice and a light tap on my arm. "What you reading?" I stared a the little girl next to me for a moment then peaked over realizing her sister or mom or whoever was sleep.

The girl was honestly adorable though. "Uhh it's called The Hate U Give". She looked no more than 8 and gave me a confused look. "Why", she asked while tilting her head a bit.

My book put me in a good mood so I decided to tell her. I pointed to each word to spell out Thug and she still looked confused of course so I explained more.

"There was this rapper named Tupac, he said the hate you give little infants fucks everybody". She gasped a little then looked next to her and back at me.

"Uh- thats a bad word my sister might tell my mommy I don't want to get in trouble."

I mentally face palmed remembering this is a whole little kid. "I'm sorry, it'll just be our little secret it looks like your sisters sleeping right now anyway." She looked like she was thinking for a second then nodded her head aggressively.

I hadn't been around kids much but I enjoyed them every time I was which was like twice.

"Can you tell me what that thing you said mean?"

"Of course, each letter- hold on let me get some paper."

I pulled out a pen from my book bag and used the wrapper from my breakfast sandwich to write on.

I wrote out the sentence underlining each letter telling her it stood for Thug Life. "What he was saying all the bad that adults do, and kids like you see and end up doing when you grow up, fuc- messes everybody up." She nodded her head but looked like she still didn't understand.

"It's okay if you don't get it, you'll understand when you're older." She nodded her head again and looked away to focus back on her tablet.

After landing in Chicago

Author POV:

Always living on the run was never easy for Alaisha, she could never get close to anybody, never stayed anywhere too long and she couldn't trust anyone but herself.

There were times she wanted to let people in but time and time again she was reminded why she could never do so again.

Alaisha was a slim thick brownskin with long locs to her butt, her eyes were hazel and she was 5'2 and she was obsessed with fashion but nobody knows that or could tell since all she wore were baggy pants and hoodies to keep a low profile.

As Alaisha had done many times before she was moving into her new apartment with only one book bag, a duffle full of money and new furniture on the way.

She starts to explore her new home even though she knows it won't be for long. She hears a knock at the door and instantly reaches for her gun and checks the peep hole.

There was a girl outside the door maybe around 5'5 , 5'6. She had her back to the door so all you could see was her curly hair in a low ponytail.

Alaisha opened the door slightly hiding her protection and the girl turned around with a Pan of some sort in her hand.

She observed the girl with a mug looking her up and down trying to read her. She had pretty brown skin and brown eyes, she had a slit in her left eyebrow, big plump beautiful lips and these gorgeous long lashes, you could tell they were natural.

She had on dark blue mens ripped jeans, white forces, a white T-shirt with a 7 in the corner and the words God first under it.

Alaisha POV:
(Uh-lay-shUH)

I was completely in a daze I hadn't even realized I zoned out until she got loud "ummm hello!! You good?" I snapped out of it and responded.

"Yeah sorry do you need something" i asked still looking at her with the same mug on my face hiding the thoughts going through my head.

She was pretty which shocked me because I never ever think that about anyone, I mean dont get me wrong ive looked at people before just like anybody would but this... this was different and i didnt like it at all.

She finally started to talk after a few seconds of awkward silence. "Um yeah, I uh- I" she paused and cleared her throat "my sister wanted me to bring you this casserole as a welcoming gift since you just moved in"At first she sounded nervous but it quickly went away as she spoke.

I looked at the pan already knowing I shouldn't accept it but for some reason I contemplated taking it and I had no idea why.

I finally tucked my Gun back in my pants and stood straight in front of the girl I assumed was a stud by how she carried herself. I decided it best to decline politely hoping she wouldn't come back.

"No thank you I'm not really a casserole person thanks though". She gave a slightly disappointed smile and responded. "Okay well anyway welcome to the complex I'll see you around".

She quickly walked off and opened a door at the other end of the hall and when I was sure she was gone I quickly closed the door glad the interaction was over.

When I finally sat down I realized my heart was racing which was weird because nothing really happened, she was just pretty... really really pretty. I thought about her perfect plump limps for a few seconds then snapped myself out of it.

I decided I was going to go get food to take my mind off this bs, I don't ever think like this and I didn't plan on starting now.

Or so I thought.

🦋
🦋
🦋
🦋
I edited this pageeee but Let me know what y'all think so far. This my first time publishing btw lol. This is my first time publishing here but i promise it gets better from here😁🫶🏽