Raat Akeli Hai

X. closure and closed

❝
Haa hum badalne lage
Girne sambhalne lage
Jabse hai jaana tumhe
Teri oor chalte lage
❞

anupamaa :

The morning dawned faster than we thought.
I woke up, with a terribly heavy head.
After our conversation, I had called Toshu to take him home since he was drunk.
And then I had headed back to Biji's house.

His words were deep, and honest, that I know.
Yet, somehow they did not have much effect except for exhausting me.
Sometimes I wondered how hard had I fallen out of love with him?

My phone buzzed.
Without checking I picked the call.

"Anu?"

I sat up.
Anuj, it was.

"Kya hum mil sakte hai?"

I looked at the clock, and the date.
Today, we had an appointment with Sumedh.
"Woh.. mujhe aaj thoda sa kaam hai..", I mumbled, feeling my heart pace a little faster than regular.
And then there was this man, that I just could not fall out of love with.
Even after all his atrocities my heart found a way back to him.

Are soulmates like this?
"Toh.. kal? Mujhe bas closure chahiye Anu..", He asked tenderly.
Maybe it was the way he spoke to me. Soft, subtle, always caring enough to not let the harsh tone take over - except the last time we had a proper conversation.

"Hmm.", I said as silence fell on the line.
"Anu.. mai..", He mumbled but said nothing.
I gulped, "Good bye Anuj Kapadia ji.", I whispered feeling swords pierce through my chest.
"Aise hi paraya kar dogi Anu?"
"Aapne nehi kia?"
"Koshish ki.. lekin kar nehi paya.. Sirf tumhara intezaar kia.", He said.

I could feel my emotions take over.
It was difficult to deny the love of such a man.
"Good bye.", I said, trying very hard to sound strict.
"Bye.", He whispered as the call hung up.

I got off the bed, drawing in a deep breath.

He said he waited for me.. yet he seemed to have moved on with Shruti within a year of our divorce. The girl didn't seem to know about his wait.
Last night, Mister Shah also said that he loved me under the name of hate.. and from Kavya's words he seemed to have lived a life of heartlessness for five years. Married, but not involved. Had everything, yet never a smile.

I did not know why I was drawing a comparison between the two.
One was my prince charming, other the cruel king who chained me for years.
Yet the contrast was strangely stark.

I drew in another deep breath.
I had to meet my son today.

•

vanraj :

Change is difficult.
But change is also a constant.

I adjusted my tie before the mirror.
My boss had called to inform me that I could do my office work right from America, which was also their head office.
So I was staying for a while.

Last night had been heavy.
My head felt like it would burst open due to the hangover.
Drinking really doesn't suit me.

I wore a black suit today.
It was the day to meet my son.