All Under the Place

prologue

...

My twin, Leianna, has not left her room.

She and Mami arrived three hours ago. Since then, my mother has been mindlessly chopping a random assortment of vegetables and Leianna has only come out of her room once: to use the bathroom.

Considering the abrupt and unplanned nature of Leianna's arrival, it's safe to conclude the warning flags flailing around in my mind are well warranted. Even more so that my mother is wasting the batch of groceries I paid for. Despite this, my naivety remains strong in believing Leianna's presence is nothing abnormal. That, essentially, everything is fine.

Out of all the dysfunctional and potentially threatening family dynamics that exist, Leianna and I got pretty lucky to have two present parents in our lives. Leianna lives with our father, while I live with Mami. Not children of divorce, but children of love-sick teenagers who had no concept of the future. Before us twins were born, our grandparents agreed on Mami and Papi taking a daughter each, effectively avoiding the interference of court.

For seemingly irresponsible teenagers, our parents did a great job at keeping things amicable. Our parents always encouraged us to spend every possible minute together, school and distance basically ignored. Papi never stopped Leianna from spending days on end at our place when we were younger, and Mami preferred it that way. Beyond co-parenting, our parents have a close to invisible relationship; the two times we tried, Christmas with everyone was a pending shit-show teetering on the edge. We're not perfect. Sadly, my relationship with Papi is a step above awkward, to say the least, but we're a family, nonetheless.

A lot of the time, it was only Leianna, Mami, and I. Really, Leianna was with us so often, I'd forget she didn't live with us. She's one of the few constants in my life, and I hope she feels the same about me.

When we were younger, it was easier for us to spend day after day together. Grades from kindergarten to seventh were our Fuck It years, according to Mami. Missing a few days of school when you're eight years old wasn't world-threatening. No child was worrying about missing school when their best friend could be found at home. Especially not Leianna, who was both her and my in-home teacher during our frequent stay-cations.

Transitioning into high school, however, was when we were really tested. Maybe it was the difference in atmosphere or the maturity spurt that occurs around that age, but Leianna quickly became more than a best friend or a sister.

Weekends with each other consisted of sleepovers and movie marathons. We had nights when all we did was talk and eat. Days when nothing really mattered but each other. Best of all, it was always on our own terms. We love each other beyond comprehension, while still acknowledging the invisible line between us that keeps us independent.

Whether this is contradictory to my last statement or not, I know everything happening in my twin's life. For fuck's sake, we're identical twins, so there's only so far she can get away from me. I know Leianna's grades, friends, crushes, and inner-inner thoughts like they're my own. Realistically speaking, I know my sister doesn't tell me everything. Which is only fair, since I certainly don't share every miniscule detail with her. But I am certain I know everything that matters. The kind of things that an older twin of 174 seconds should know.

And yet confusion presents itself as I try to understand this gnawing uneasiness.

This afternoon, my mother wanted to spend some one-on-one time with her Lei. Feeling spontaneous, Mami didn't bother calling ahead of time.

With details yet to be shared, all I know is whatever Mami witnessed was enough to convince her that Leianna had to move out of Papi's place. When my mother and sister had walked through the front door, without a glance in my direction, Mami headed straight to the kitchen and Lei went for the stairs. Mami gave me an unfocused "Lei's moving in. Help with the room," before resuming her silent stride. Then the small glimpse I had of Leianna told me a good chunk of the story: Leianna is not pleased, telling me a lot more than either of the two was letting on.