Trapping Perfection (Elsa Mars)

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It was hard, being apart from the norm. Even more so because you'd never know it. From the time you were born, you were with a freakshow who had been your family. But hearing about Jimmy, your older brother, going into town and blending, you couldn't see a reason you couldn't do the same. You weren't like your brother, or your mother. You were like your father. He was also bizarre, but it wasn't visible. You could rejoin society, or rather join it. 

You didn't want to just leave, though you couldn't tell anyone of your thoughts to leave. Your bags were packed, and you slowly walked to the main tent, where the show was hosted. Elsa sat among the audience, though those sears had been removed. A film projector was pointed above the stage, at the sheet hanging overhead. Shades of grey broadcasted snippets of the acts you'd seen a million times. If you could work some magic, Elsa hoped it might make an ad on television, all the new rage. But the audience still had to be in person for the whole experience, of course. 

Elsa turned to her notepad, scribbling some notes for future acts. The strange always had multiple applications. Ethel and Eve and a few other sideshows worked about the tent, cleaning from the meal. Actually, the few who usually made the mess were cleaning. And the adults supervised. "Elsa?" you called like you had a thousand times. 

The blonde turned to look at you over her shoulder. The others, particularly your mother, glanced up at you briefly. 

You stepped further into the room. "Could I have a word... i-in private?" You tried to gather your courage. 

Elsa nodded and stood. She dismissed the others with another nod. The freakshow's denmother held out a comforting arm. She could see the conflict on your face from the moment you stepped into the tent. It was a downside to growing up around the people you lived with. Those who could, read you like a book. But your mother misunderstood, patting your arm reassuringly. She likely thought you wanted more stage time, performers that your family had always been. "What is it, Lieblingsmensch?" 

You didn't near her hold, needing your space for a deep breath. "I've been thinking about this for some time. I-I've not slept when I think on it too hard." 

The blonde dropped her chin. "Uh-oh." 

You huffed a laugh. "No. I- well, Elsa." You balled your fists at your sides. "I'm leaving the show." 

Elsa straightened her stature, eyes wide. She never imagined she might lose you or Jimmy. You were both permanent fixtures, born into the life and the troupe. "Why?" 

You circled the long table to avoid the Fräulein as you paced. "I've seen the purity channeled by our dear Pepper, Petite, Meep. More, even. I want to... experience the rest. I can fake normal. I can pass," you whispered delicately. You worried Elsa would lash out in an attempt to control you, a habit of hers. She could be cruel, but you knew your decision would be wildly unpopular among the performers. 

Elsa started going through her film rolls. "You're right. No one would ever know about your abnormality if you didn't want them to. But, then, no one would know the true you." Reading her film titled, she gave you none of the attention you'd expected. Like a charm, you came closer. Elsa swapped out her roll, pressing the button to play, then took your chin. You started, but Elsa only turned your face to observe her movie. She stepped behind you and you shivered. Elsa was always an imposing presence, forceful. Maybe it was just the Germans, but she was the only one you'd ever met. And if anyone understood quick assumptions, it was freaks. But Elsa had always been strong. If you were honest, she was very attractive, only amplified by the knowledge of all the good she'd done, her compassion for your kind. The suits didn't help your childish crush. "But I... we have always loved you." The blonde's sure hands gripped your shoulders. "Warts and all." Then, she was gone, back in her seat. "And you love us. We are your family." 

The new film was all about you. You gaped with a lax jaw; you had no idea Elsa would have this. You could see the lesser quality where you were Ma Petite's size. Then, the acts you'd picked up, you family teaching you, you teaching yourself, picking up Ma Petite, you growing. And the woman in hardly any snippets of film was exactly who took every shot, who admired your growth. Ethel was always there behind you. 

The real woman behind you took your arm, gently pulling you back to sit against her. Green eyes bored into the side of your face, down your neck. Her hand also trailed over you. "Look at me, Engelchen," Elsa whispered. 

You obliged, still stunned. "You record me?" 

Elsa's finger trailed down your jaw, drawing you closer. "One much capture perfection." And she pressed her lips to yours. 

Your complimentary arm came up to hold her shoulder. You weren't sure if you wanted to push her away or not, but this wouldn't change anything. You let her draw you in further. You felt so weak, so malleable in Elsa's hold. You were out of breath when she broke away from the kiss. Elsa fisted your hair and yanked, ripping a gasp from your lips. Your neck exposed, the blonde feasted. You groaned at the rough treatment, going limp at all the sensation. 

"Stand up!" Elsa suddenly demanded. You immediately obeyed, on instinct, and feared her rage would explode now. Facing her and backing away, equally blown pupils stared as Elsa turned off the projector. Then, you had her full attention, which was intimidating, but she said nothing, which was worse. Silently, she took your hands and guided you to her tent. You recognized it by the pastel fabric and the sheer size of it. Elsa had the biggest tent, and the most ornate, you discovered upon entry. Elsa hovered worse than your mother, never leaving more than enough space to touch you. Her eyes also never left you, even as she gathered her pipe. "I think... you've forgotten who your family is. You belong here - with us." She hit her pipe, stepping into your immediate space. 

Everything about this made you feel strange. You'd never been suspicious of Elsa, but she did not have your complete trust. Particularly right now. "You can't stop me," you argued fiercely. 

Elsa erupted into giggles. "Oh, my Liebchin." One hand put the mouthpiece between your lips, the other around your back and it unzipped your dress. You went to pull back, grabbing the shaft. "Smoke some, Liebchin. Accept another perspective, even if it doesn't change your mind." Her mouth pressed right against your ear, hot air blowing. She pulled you in tighter. "Relax that mind for a time." 

Hesitantly, you obliged. You had never wanted her opium, further discouraged from it by your mother. But a lightness entered your brain and Elsa laid you onto her bed. 

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