Greys anatomy (& Private Practice) women x reader oneshots

😜WORMS?!!!! (Jo Wilson)

Heyyy guys - sorry I'm not as active lately.

Also...

I'm gonna write a depressing one soon 😈
(Due to popular demand)

But for now I'm giving you a draft because I'm aware I don't post as much...
Don't forget about me xx

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You're Jo's roommate. You're not a doctor like her... you did meet at the hospital though. You work in the hospital café. You give her a flat white every morning - 4 sugars!!!

She gets home from work and barely has time to sit down before you ambush her.

"Jo. Help." You say, panicked.

"Huh? What's going o-... oh my god..." She is confused and then you drop your pants.

"What are you doing?!!" She asks you, stunned.

"You're a doctor. I need you to... examine..." you tell her, too panicked to be embarrassed.

"I'm sorry what?!... This is like one of those bad doctor jokes where the patient asks them to check a mole... you don't have a mole do you?..." Jo looks at you, an eyebrow raised.

"No. No mole." You say.

"Then... what?" She asks.

"Totally unrelated question... what do you know about worms?" You ask, trying to be subtle.

She blinks.

"YOU HAVE WORMS??!!!" She asks, putting a hand over her mouth.

"SHUSH!!! DONT TELL THE WHOLE STREET!!!" You swat at her getting her to shut up.

"Now, answer my question. What do you know about worms?..." You ask, red with embarrassment.

"Uh... a fair bit I guess? I'm qualified in general so..." She says.

"So... tell me about the freaking worms!!!" You say, your patience running thin from panic.

"Uh... Well for starters, there are over 31,000 known species." She says it calmly like it wasn't a big thing...

You yelp. "H-how many?!!!"

"Is there a specific type of worm or?..." She asks you, concerned.

"The ones you get from mouldy food?..." You say, shameful.

"You ate mouldy food..." She stares at you, not surprised but definitely disappointed.

"I WAS HUNGRY!!! I THOUGHT I CUT ALL THE MOULD OFF!!!" You exclaim, pulling your pants back up.

"Y/N!!! WE'RE NOT POOR - I WOULD'VE BOUGHT YOU FOOD IF YOU ASKED!!!" She says, bewildered by your motive.

"IT WAS 3AM!!!" You retorted.

"WHY WERE YOU MOULD-MUNCHING AT 3AM?!!" She seems done with you.

"UNINTENTIONALLY!!!" You exclaimed.

"UNINTEN-... right... ok... let's just... calm down and take a breath... Ok... so... you ate mould because you're greedy. You committed the sin of greed and this is your comeuppance? You now have worms?" She smirks.

You groan in embarrassment.

"Yes Jo. I now have worms from being a little fatty. You satisfied?" You manage to keep a straight face which only makes this funnier for Jo.

"God you're stupid." She laughs.

"Yes, yes I get it. You're the smart doctor girl and I just make coffee and eat mould. Now can you please just tell me how I get them out!! They're wriggling inside me as we speak!!!" You freak out.

Jo bursts out laughing.

"That's it - keep laughing. It's not like I've got worms up my ass or anything?" You say, sarcastically.

Jo has tears in her eyes from laughing at your misfortune.

"Um... well with mouldy food it's most likely going to be a nematode parasite. Usually, it's the roundworms. If I was to place a bet I'd say you've got the Ascarsis..." She can't help cackling.

"Ok I'm hearing a lot of words but nothing helpful..." You say shakily.

"Basically you're gonna need to be de-wormed" She is in hysterics, tears streaming down her face at the thought of you being "de-wormed"!!!

"WHAT?!! DE-... DE-WORMED??!!..." You stare at her in shock, wondering what that will entail.

She nods, crying from laughter.

"H-how do you-... d-de-worm..." you stutter, apprehensively.

"You're gonna have to take anti-worm pills..." she splutters, laughing even more at your expense.

"Be serious." You say, thinking she's joking. Surely you won't have to take worm killer pills like some sort of rabid dog?...

"Oh sweetie... I'm being deadly serious..." she cackles.

You stare at her with a fearful expression, eyes wide.

"Don't look so panicked!! Lots of people get worms..." she struggles to contain her laughter. "I'll write you a prescription for some Albendazole..." she giggles as she searches for her prescription pad.

"No way am I going to the pharmacy to pick up worm killing pills. I'm a grown woman. I've got a reputation to maintain..." you say, mortified.

"Then have fun with your worms..." She smirks, writing up your prescription.

"Jo... you know how I make you coffee every morning?..." you try sweetening her up.

She doesn't fall for it.

"No. No way in hell am I picking up your anti-worm pills. No way." She shakes her head, snickering.

"Fuck my life." You groan.

"Now go get this prescription... Godspeed!" She giggles and basically pushes you out of the door.

"I hate you." You glare at her.

"Not my fault you're gross and eat mould like some sort of rabid animal..." she giggles.

"At least I was never gross enough to live in my car." You retort, frowning.

"Whatever you say worm girl..." She cackles and shuts the door in your face.

Worm girl.

That was gonna stick...

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Word count - 907

Another Jo one.
Sorry this is a short one x
Missed you guys and I'm sorry I've been AWOL 😥
I hope this was ok? I didn't proofread or anything.