SMILE LIKE YOU MEAN IT | james potter

xxiv. lovesick

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POLARIS DOESNT THINK MUCH OF IT when Sirius ignores her at breakfast. She doesn't think much at all of it because she knows he's too stubborn for his own good. James gives him a very hard look however, when he blatantly refuses to even look at Polaris.

   Polaris even bites her tongue when Sirius takes a large swig of his coffee. She could so easily slip in a "with or without booze this morning?", but she isn't going to. She's being a better person.

   She goes about her day and she plays games with Nadya, she crochets and she watches TV with James. It's all very boring really.

   The days kind of blend together, Sirius is still ignoring her, Remus is clearly trying hard to overcompensate for it, and Nadya keeps her entertained. Her brain feels so foggy that she barely takes any of it in.

   "Are you alright?" James asks, frowning slightly as he gently moves the salt out of her way. "That's salt love, not sugar."

   "Oh," Polaris says, blinking a few times. "So it is. Right."

   She spoons some sugar into her tea and sits down at the table. She assumes that the spells started to get to her brain, because she keeps making silly mistakes like almost putting salt in her tea. She isn't really trying to engage at all to be honest.

   "Pol, how many meds are you taking?" James asks gently. Polaris blinks again.

   "Not sure," she says. "Why?"

   James' frown deepens. "More than what you're meant to?"

   "I just take whenever I'm in pain," Polaris replies. Definitely more than she's meant to.

   "Pol you aren't meant to take more than eight ibuprofen or paracetamol in one day, that's four doses of each," James says. "And you've gone through that potion awfully fast as well."

   "Oh," Polaris says. "Sorry."

   "You're out of it," Sirius interrupts, standing in the doorway. "You have been for the past fortnight."

   "Right," Polaris says.

   James frown becomes so deep his glasses slip down his nose.

   "Is the pain worse than before?" he asks.

   "Yes, that's why I'm taking so many drugs," Polaris says. "Obviously."

   "Fucking hell," Sirius mutters.

   "Oi, don't think I've forgotten about you being a dick just because Polaris seems to," James snaps. Sirius shifts guiltily.

   "Pol, I think you need to cut down on the meds," James' tone shifts completely as he turns back to Polaris. "Your heads fried."

   Polaris scowls. "I'm fine, James."

   James bites his lip. She is not fine. She can barely hold a conversation, and she hasn't said a snarky comment in like two days.

   "Polaris, I'm not trying to tell you how you live your life but-"

   "Then don't," Polaris interrupts.

   "As a healer, I-"

   "I'm fine, James," she repeats. "Why're you making a fuss?"

   "You could seriously damage your liver," James tries to reason. "Like it could kill you."

   "Doubt it'll kill me faster than this," Polaris retorts.

   That shuts James up.

   Sirius lets out a low whistle. "Wow, kill the vibe harder Polaris."