I HEAR YOU

XXII: SOFIA

"You can still change your mind." I hesitantly urge him. Though I tried to say it in a braver tone, I can only manage to say it meekly. He doesn't look at me and I took that as a relief. I don't even mind that he doesn't answer me as he continued to rummage through his papers because I'm not sure I can take any more of his glares.

It's been a month since he volunteered to coach me. Peter has been trying to teach me as much as he could in his free time but he has been absent these past few days I can even help but worry over his absence. There was a buzz for the entire month when you pass by students huddled together or just by themselves muttering either quietly or loudly and pouring over their books as exams near. It was a busy month and I didn't mind that I haven't had the chance to see him since that day. It was little comfort that I reminded myself to be kind to him even if he looked like he had eaten too much lemons. And now I sit across him in the only unpopulated place in the school, the biopark. The biopark is seldom visited by most students except those who enjoys the silence and disconnection from the online platforms. Some students would prefer the kiosks where there are charging stations and free internet connection.

He didn't look up when I came here so I had been pondering if he hates me more when I came late but I didn't wait for him to invite me and sit down before him, I took that initiative myself. It's not really my fault if I had arrived late. It took me a long time to find the park and asking for directions is hard for me. Gabby's not around that much too. Now that the sports competition draws near, I seldom see her and I refuse to cling to her that much. I should learn things on my own now since I asked for this. But turns out, learning on my own is not a walk in the park. Even sitting on the ground seems a harder feat than walking around here. I bit my lip and looked at the guy who still hasn't spared me a glance and has now started to draw.

What now? My cheeks burned at the thought that he probably brought me to this place just to humiliate me again. At least not in front of anyone else. I don't want a replay of what happened during the screening. Since he doesn't seem to care what I do, I stood up and dusted a bit loudly than I first intended. I just want to see some reaction but he doesn't flinch. Or look up. I feel myself surprisingly disheartened. I don't even care if he doesn't see me as a worthy student but there's an ache in me when he refused to let me see his eyes. I don't recognize this feeling. I don't recognize this obsession. And I can't help but feel disgusted so I just left him and took the chance to stroll around the park.

There aren't benches here but the grass is thick and green. The trees, they don't seem too tall and not too short either. They are just the right height to hide under their shade with their branches crawling enormously above you with lush leaves rustling against a soft breeze blowing. I heard this before.

Leaves rustling...

Leaves crunching...

Light steps.

Step.

Step.

Step.

I'm in a long walk. Where am I? Then I stopped. I heard a deep intake of breath and rushed steps. I squealed so lightly it could have been a trick of the wind. Where am I? Then the steps below me were heavier. And then there's a rusty screech. Where am I?

Doors.

There are doors.

Where am I?

I feel it. My mind is pressing for answers. There is a dull pain in my head, throbbing ever so lightly until it throbbed so fiercely when I poked more into the darkened area in my mind. I almost whimper at the pain. And for a moment....