12. Biswasingha

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*****

I walked out of the tent with Shubhashini beside me. Her curious eyes darted here and there. I was bewildered at the thought that this woman was so innocent and pure to the world.

Her childlike interest in understanding how to lighten up a lamp, also bravely stepping forward to help me fight the thieves.

I didn't realise that I was walking a bit faster until Shubhashini ji stopped me, by holding my hand.

"You are walking faster," she said, her eyes were wide as she glanced at the royal guards.

I looked down at her hand in mine. It was an utterly foreign sensation and a strange one. I couldn’t remember the last time anyone had held my hand.

My mother, maybe? No, she had never held my hand, I remembered once my mother reaching out to grab my wrist but stopped at the last second. That was after my first battle in the field. I had just returned home after six months of hiding in the cave.

"Biswa?" Shubhashini ji shook my arm lightly to get my attention. "Can we go to a different path? What if the guards return?"

"The group that attacked you weren't guards, Shubho ji," I realised I didn't clarify that. "They were thieves. And I don't think they will try to attack you as long as you are with me,"

She stepped closer instantly, holding my hand with a death grip.

I shouldn't be enjoying this... though I didn't stepped away from her.

Once I got her safely in my horse, I planned on explaining my identity to her. The confusion in her big eyes had been obvious. But every time I tried to I couldn’t think of a way to say it without scaring her off.

"Where do you get the horse?" She asked when I climbed behind her.

"The horse is mine," I told her.

"Wow!"

Tonight had been so different, so unexpected. I didn't realise that I was about to meet her.

There was an attraction, I could feel the electrified air between us whenever our hands brushed. When she asked about the lamp in the dark tent, I couldn't help but lean closer to her. However, there was more there with Shubhashini ji.

As I sat behind her in my horse. Wrapped around her, for the first time in many years, I felt alive. There was more to talk about other than royal duties and battles and war or royal families alliances and ruling the dynasties. I listened to her chattering throughout our journey to Narayangarh.

It was an unannounced visit, although, I was supposed to be there according to Niladhwaj.

Shubhashini ji talked about the forest we passed, discussed about an amulet she was wearing, and about her Burimaa and Bondu Mami. I listened to her talking, while observing the surroundings.

I liked being around her so far. I wanted to protect her. She had me so wrapped up I couldn’t think clearly.

Taking her back to that dark tent was going to kill me. I didn’t want her sleeping there on a straw mat, unprotected.

"Is something wrong?" Shubhashini asked, breaking into my thoughts. I was already stopping by the river to Narayan Garh. We had to walk from there.

The frown creasing on her forehead bothered me. I didn’t mean to make her frown.

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