Seek {Superhero AU} - Ending 1

18: You Fool

"Hm...I'll probably end up going with Lou Ellen and Cecil," I say. "Would you like to join—" I panic briefly. Do I say 'us' to imply something between friends, or do I say 'me' to imply something more like a date?

For a brief moment, I remember the Ghost King and me leaning in, almost kissing yesterday. I remember my hands on his waist. I remember kissing his hand in mine. His honesty about what happened to his sisters, the trust he has placed in me to be there for him and help him.

The reason I'm attracted to Leo is because he reminds me so much of the Ghost King. But if I invite Leo to this date with me, that feels like a betrayal to Nico. Even if Nico and I aren't technically dating yet.

"—us?" I finish finally, though there's a sinking feeling of disappointment in my gut. Am I polyamorous? Maybe I'm attracted to both Leo and Nico. Is that allowed?

"Yeah, sure," Leo says, but he sounds disappointed, too. "I would love to."

We're approaching his class now, and I'm a little bit relieved. This whole conversation was stressful—every word feels like I'm either going to end up hurting Nico or Leo, and I'm torn. I don't want to have to lose either of them! Can I just have both?

I drop him off at his class, and he waves. His enthusiasm is a little more muted than it was an hour ago. I wave back.

I spend my entire history class thinking about what I'm allowed and not allowed to have. I mean, polyamory exists, but do I even want polyamory? I think my heart is big enough to love multiple people at once, but relationships are also a lot of work, and having two to keep track of might become difficult to manage. If I mess it up with one person, would my relationship with the other person fall apart, too?

This is a silly thing to think about because right now I'm not dating either of them. Maybe I should just keep doing what I'm doing until I figure out some of this mess.

"Hey, Will?" Mr. Brunner interrupts my thoughts. He's standing at the front of the class. There's a slide about the Bay of Pigs Invasion on the board behind him, and I have just remembered that I probably should have been paying attention.

"Uh, yeah?" I ask, neck heating up with embarrassment. Had he asked me a question?

"Could you stay after class for a minute?" he asks, and it's in a friendly but stern tone, so I nod in agreement. My anxiety spikes. I must have been zoned out as he tried to get me to answer a question. Am I going to get detention for this? I don't know, I've never been in trouble before.

The rest of the class I try my best to pay attention. The material is interesting, at least. I've always liked learning about history, but I especially like learning about the parts of history when things didn't go as planned. Wars we didn't win, underdogs taking power, a tiny moment sparking into a paradigm shift.

The bell rings before Mr. Brunner finishes the lesson. He has a tendency to get slightly off track so that he can tell us stories about the people involved in history. Today, he told us stories about John F. Kennedy.

The other students stand up and file out the door. I collect my things slowly so that by the time I approach Mr. Brunner's desk, there are no other students in the room. If I'm about to be scolded, I would rather be the only one here.

"Is everything alright?" Mr. Brunner asks me.

I swallow nervously. "Uh, yeah, why?"

He leans forward on his desk. His expression is serious and concerned, and he's tapping his pen. "I felt like you were a little bit off today. You seem more tired than usual, too. I just wanted to make sure everything is okay—I tried asking you a question earlier and it was like you didn't hear me at all. Is there anything going on? Anything I can help with?"