Hisoka works at McDonald's

Chapter 7: The sixth day

Anyways, Machi had then came by and slaughtered all of them for "safety purposes", whatever that may be.

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There was someone who came in, heard and when asked to hand over their card—so they could pay—immediately ran and ducked under the table. Pulling out a water gun full of season salt and aiming it right at the escaped convict. The name of said convict is still unknown, as there's whiteout over it on the mugshots on the fridge.

After some confusion, and over all calmness, they figured out that the man had thought they were asking for his green card, which he didn't have. And was ready to kill to avoid border control, which is respectable.

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Then there was the lady assumed, because Hisoka was feminine he was therefore dedicated to learning how to cha cha realll smooth.

;)

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Then there was Abraham Lincoln, who kept popping out of his grave. Which was really unfortunate because the mice kept getting to him.

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Now, just to quickly list off some notable mentions

•An English teacher that prevented Hisoka from getting STDs by magically removing his balls and duck and then juggling them, before kindly returning them a few hours later

•A chair that rolled in and then started charging at Hisoka and demanding duel at high noon after Hisoka told it about the anti-chair policy

•Illumi, who had no idea Hisoka worked there, and just said that this is where he went to keep up on his poison training. Before going and eating his chicken nuggets in the tunnel slide in the play place. The children who climbed up or went down the slide never made it to the other side.

•The drug addic that works there, who had apparently gotten fired without Hisoka's knowledge. Who ordered a McFlurry. As it was their most poisonous menu item, and he was committing suicide via McFlurry, as one does. Hisoka just rehired him, so he wouldn't have to deal with it.

•Feitan, who climbed into the freezer chest, and fell asleep there. And then woke up hours later, and started chewing on Hisoka's arm. To which Hisoka just extended his arm straight outwards, meaning Feitan's feet were now no longer on the ground. Unfortunately Hisoka hadn't calculated for the fact that Feitan liked uppies, and so Hisoka had to stay with his arm extended like that for the rest of his shift.

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Now, back to the Troupe's reactions.

The overall weirdness of this fucking McDonald's didn't affect the troupe that much. What was more shocking was that Hisoka was good?? At his job???

He was an excellent manager, and kept his employees in check. And by that we mean he was subpar and the employees ran rampant.

But that's normal McDonald's stuff, so who cares.

He was great at putting extra poison in the food. And giving Chrollo food poisoning on multiple occasions, even after they settled down and got married a few years later. Not that they ever settled down and got married, because Chrollo's canonically two in this book👍

His ability to deal with the customers with an excellent casualty rate, far over 1000 kills per day, was impressive.

Some of his best tatics was making out with Chrollo, Illumi, or Feitan, whichever was closest or would be most inconvenienced by a make out session. Which instantly killed the old people, as they don't like them there gays.

As well as just walking away, which instantly made the karens die of shock.

And, then, of course, making bunnies appear in people's McDonald's to-go backs. So when they went to check to see if their food was all there, they got assaulted by a hundred bunnies, all spawning from the bag. Like in Minecraft, when u put a bunch of mobs in a like closed off square, and the delete the walls around them so they just shoot out everywhere.

And then, for the bratty children, he banished them to the coal mines. Which prevents them from eating McDonald's ever again,therefore increasing their lifespan.

Also he just sent the rest of his coworkers to just straight up eat the customers, because that's a thing they do now, apparently.

Word count: 1285

Fun Facts:

• Surprise! Get attacked by the authors headcanon! Feitan would so enjoy banter and insults, and the more annoyed you make him the more he likes you.

Unless you say one word about his height.

• Me, jokingly: Haha, Hisoka and Chrollo sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-
Me, a little less jokingly: Feitan and Hisoka, only one bed trope⁉️⁉️ Chrollo jealous⁉️⁉️ Illumi and Hisoka making out‼️⁉️⁉️

• Bro I used a Random Word Generator to find me ideas, I asked it to give me eight words.. and

border
control
feminine
prevents
banished
revolution
claim
railroad

What in the America.