Mutual Pining (Aaron Hotchner x reader fic)

Aching

TW: the next chapters will be very graphic, and hopefully longer, lots of emotions. You have been warned.

Hotch's POV:

"We need a team in here now. We have to find her as soon as possible. Am I understood?"

I am not about to lose you. Not now.

Flash back~

She walked into my office with a small smile.

"Um hi sir, I'm Y/n Y/l/n." Her smile was so bright.

I could've watched her for hours. Everything she did was meticulous. It was chaotic at times but it had a purpose. She always would keep one hand elevated towards her hips and rub her middle finger and thumb together, when she was nervous. A nervous tic she always had the first few weeks of working for the BAU.

She still has it, just not as much as she used to. She grew more comfortable with everyone but if anything was changed drastically then she would do it more often. When Rossi first joined us, she would do it if he was in close proximity to her. Now its as if he is a father figure to her.

"Ah yes, Miss. Y/l/n. Please have a seat."

I watched as she took caution into sitting down. She was an over thinker. Not in the sense of overthinking everything SHE did, but more the over thinker in the ways she would overthink everything around her and overthink what others were doing around her. This is why I hired her. She was a natural profiler.

After her interview, I remember watching interact with Emily and JJ and thinking about how beautiful she was when she laughed.

The months following her hire, I had to keep myself from watching her or letting my feelings grow. I didn't want to risk losing her the way I lost Hayley. After a while I just avoided her gaze and kept things beyond professional. Its not like she would ever see me the same way I saw her. She was younger, nicer, and had so much more to live for. She was in her twenties and I was 43, now being 44.

Its better to have her than not have her at all. Right? I hated to admit it but I needed her regardless if she knew it or not. She was the only person who made me feel better about my life and make things less stressful for me.

Narrator POV:

Emily was with Reid at Y/n's apartment looking for clues at who could've taken her. Everyone, specifically Emily, had noticed that Hotch was far from himself since Y/n went missing. He knew it had been two days since she was taken and he didn't like how it felt knowing someone could have killed her at this point.

All of the flashbacks of Hayley rushed back to him and he was beyond what words could describe scared for her life, as well as his sanity. Everyone was beginning to notice it too.

"Hotch is out of it." Morgan said to Garcia as she typed away at her laptop trying to find the last location Y/n's phone was on.

"Morgan. Her phone was last online in a completely different state." She said ignore his last comment and starting to freak out about your whereabouts.

"Call Hotch and Emily right now."

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Your POV: Two days before (Its Saturday)

Your head was pounding and you could feel your heart beat sending waves of pain. Your eyes slowly opened but you couldn't keep them open.

You were on your side, the ground was cold and rough. Basement flooring. You could hear thuds and walking around above you. Trying your best to open your eyes you could see walls of insulation, concrete, and one half of the walls had cardboard egg cartons attached to the wall.

Sound proofed.

You could hear a phone ringing and then everything went silent. Saying you were scared was more than just an understatement. Your skin was cold, and you felt you were going to vomit even though if you were to vomit, nothing would come up. There was blood dried on your face causing slight itch and irritation.

How did this happen? Who was this person? Why you?

You could feel tears start to prick your eyes and your throat was starting to hurt as the tears welled and rushed down your face. The sound of your heartbeat was all you could hear as tried to move.

Moving was useless, who ever this was knew you were coming home and drugged you. Your body felt like it had completely shut down. Everything was in slight pain yet you couldn't feel anything at the same time.

Laying there was the most hopeless thing you could've ever experienced. Laying on the floor, basically allowing this to happen to you, and not being able to move.

The only thing that was running through your mind was contacting Hotch so he- so the team could get you out of here. Who were you kidding? As much as you hated to admit it, he was all you wanted in this moment. You wanted him to walk through that door and scoop you up to safety. He was never gonna see you the way you saw him. He was strictly professional with everything regardless of who it was with. He also still seemed to be caught up on Hayley...it's only been two years since she passed. Aaron Hotchner had no interest in you and you had excepted that fact.

"Ah glad to see your awake." A voice said coming towards you.

As you opened your eyes the man was leaning down close to you rolling you onto your back causing a sharp pain to shoot through your entire body, all you could do was cry more and wince.

"Your even prettier close up" He said rubbing the back of his hand down your face.

Words weren't forming. They were caught in your throat and all you could do was try to move away from his touch. You could hear yourself slightly whimpering, your hearing a vision still weren't back to normal, so moving made you immensely disoriented.

"Such a sweet face. He'll never do the things I can do! You're mine! He's not good for you, and you know it Claire!" He grabbed your face roughly and raised his voice at you.

He was older, 40-45 years old, longer hair, yet clean shaven. He was meticulous. Yet he thought you were someone else.

Perhaps psychotic break...? Deranged stalker? 'Stop profiling and survive' You told yourself.

"Ple-please-...I'm. I'm not wh-who you think" You couldn't say things properly. It was slurred but it was at least a sentence.

"Oh Claire...What has he done to you. You really forgot everything? All of it? Even me?" His eyes started to look rageful and dark.

The sound of bone hitting the concrete was the only sound that rang through your ears, until darkness and sheer pain was all that was left.

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Authors note-

Sorry that this chapter is a bit later than the others. I caught something and now I'm finally feeling better and finally able to write. I also want to thank my friends for supporting me and my story and i hope one day more people find this story. I started this as a joke in the beginning but then I started sticking to it and now its like actually something i get excited about and i have so much planned for the next chapters. If there is any other criminal minds or any Fandom of characters that someone would like me to write about or maybe try doing a Oneshot series than I am open to requests.

Thank you <3.