My Bestfriend

Cloudy

<<Cloudy, babe>> I hear Charles voice. I open my eyes the whole room shaking, I can see Charles talking to me but I can't figure out what he is saying.

<<We fell asleep, you are going to miss the flight>> realisation hits me with every single word that is coming out of his mouth. After everything I fell asleep and I forgot to charge my phone thats why I didn't hear any of my alarms.

<<Omg what time is it?>> I am panicking. <<Don't worry get ready and I will drop you at the airport we have ten minutes, it's a good thing I have a fast car>> did he say ten minutes, oh my god what I am going to do.

<<I don't have any clothes to wear except from the dress I wore last night and I don't thing that it is suitable for a flight>> I say. <<You can wear one of my hoodies and one of my baggy jeans>> oh what would I do without him. <<Okay thanks>> I smile at him and he smiles back.

I grab the first hoodie and jeans I find in his wardrobe. I run to the bathroom I wash my face as quickly as I can and put on the clothes. I get out and steal a pair of socks from his drawer.

<<You don't mind right?>> I show him his socks before putting them on. <<No, go on>> his dimples are showing.

<<Ready?>> I ask him even though I know that he is ready. <<Yeah let's go>> he says but he is not moving, he is just staring. <<Are you going to move or what?>> I say confused to his actions. <<Yeah sorry is just that you look extremely hot in my clothes>> his smile is bigger than before. I laugh so hard, I actually feel my lungs hurting. <<Move idiot>>

<<Will we stop by your hotel to get your luggages?>> he asks me. <<It's on our way and it's only one bag, the McLaren crew already took care of the rest but yes we will>> I don't know why I am over explaining it to him when we are in a hurry.

[...]

We are five minutes away from the airport. We are both so exhausted that neither of us is talking. I laugh when I see that Charles is wearing his flip flops.

<<Cloudy about last night>> a pause, I can feel my heartbeat getting more intense in his words. <<Did you regret it?>> my question makes him laugh. <<No love, exact the opposite, I would love to take this more serious if you want too>> a relief <<I think we can take this slow at first and the world doesn't need to know, at least until we are sure about it>> his voice so soft, I wonder if it is like that every morning.

<<I would love that Charles>> the butterflies in my stomach are speaking not me. <<Great mon cherie>> oh that smile on his face while he talks. <<But Charles I want you to know that I am going through a lot right now and I will maybe be mad at you for no reason, so be prepared>> I laugh but I actually mean what I said and I think that he knows that too.

I have to try and make this work, after all I deserve a little love after everything I have been through and if it doesn't work I know I will also have myself. Just like back then I kept going because of how much I loved myself but I don't think it's the same now after what he did to me. My stepfather he- I feel tears forming. He was drunk and he abused me. I have to stop thinking about it because I don't want Charles to see me having a panick attack.

Only my therapist knows about it and Lando. Lando was the one that helped me when I was like a rug on the floor for days crying and crying all over again. He took me from the uk to live with him in his apartment in Monaco. I continued my studies there and when I graduated with flying colours McLaren offered me a job as a second strategist.