The Madonna, The Virgin, and The Whore

Chapter Thirty-Eight

ERIN

"Why did you bring up Mark Stuben? Why'd she take off like that?" I demanded. Everything else was now inconsequential. All I was thinking about was Lexi and why she reacted the way she did when Will mentioned Mark's name. Something was wrong. I could feel it in my bones, but I wasn't sure what.

Mary had gone off after her, but I knew Will had answers and I wanted them...now. I turned towards him, watching him stare at the screen door that both of my sisters disappeared through. He probably wanted to be the one to go after Lexi. I shook my head at the thought. It was too much to deal with right now.

Will pulled his eyes back to me, raising both of his hands up and running them over his face, groaning in frustration. "I don't know Erin. She texted me last night and had me pick her up at Junction, you know, that bar on 2nd?" I nodded my head slowly, not sure where he was going with this.

"When I got there Lexi was outside and Mark Stuben was with her."

I rolled my eyes. "Jesus Will! Is that all? Is this just you being jealous or something?"

"This has nothing to do with Lexi and me--"

"Lexi and you?" I screeched, my voice cracking on the last word. "I can't believe you slept with her!"

"That's not the fucking point!" His brown eyes were darkened with irritation and he stepped towards me. "Something's going on with Lexi. You're her sister. Don't you even care?"

"Do I care that you're all bent out of shape because she was talking to Mark Stuben? Get used to it Will! If you get hung up on Lexi, that's the kind of shit you're going to have to deal with!"

"Erin, this has nothing to do with me being jealous! You don't get it. It was how she was with him. He was in her space and--"

"Will, I know you heard the rumor about the two of them. The whole damn town heard about how she slept with him and that other guy, Ollie, at the same time!" I snorted in revulsion, remembering how humiliated I was when I first heard. I was still home for Winter Break and I'd confronted Lexi as soon as I saw her. She told me to stay the fuck out of her life and slammed her bedroom door in my face. I listened to her and did.

"There was something weird about this though," Will continued. "Lexi... She looked...intimidated. She seemed scared of the guy."

"Did you ask her about it?"

His shoulders sagged and he shook his head. "You know how she is. She won't say a God damn thing. She just shuts down and lets you think the worst until you stop asking questions."

I didn't realize how well he understood Lexi and for some reason that bothered me. I looked away from him, feeling sickened with myself. A crack in the kitchen tile caught my eye and I remember how it got there.

It was the first and only summer I came home from college. I was eighteen and hated being stuck back in the town I'd fought so hard to get out of, but I couldn't afford to stay in Boston, so I packed up my dorm room and drove home with Will.

Mary had warned me. She had told me that Lexi wasn't the same as when I last saw her at Christmas break. She wasn't there when I arrived, but Mary told me that wasn't uncommon. Lexi had never been one for rules, and apparently nothing had changed.

"She met someone," my sister explained. "Some guy in a band." Her disapproval was evident.

"I don't know what to do with her Erin. She hardly goes to school anymore, and now that she's met this guy she's changed even more. She stays out all night; she comes home wasted, if she comes home at all."