The Madonna, The Virgin, and The Whore

Chapter Thirty-Three

LEXI

I watched the skin that covered his knuckles turn white as he clutched onto the steering wheel. I knew he had a lot to say, but we'd been driving for five minutes already and he hadn't opened his mouth once. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and glanced over at him. Will's gaze was focused on the road but the muscles in his face were tight and his jaw was clenched like he was holding everything back. I'm sure he had questions, maybe even a few choice words for me, or possibly some chastising, but instead he just drove and kept quiet.

It was painful.

Finally I couldn't take it any longer. I leaned forward and switched the radio on, needing something to fill the painful silence and distract myself from dissecting everything he could be possibly be thinking. Some melancholy top forty song flooded the car and I grimaced. Will immediately leaned over and turned it off. I turned my head towards him and glared.

"If you're not going to talk to me, we could at least listen to some music."

"Don't treat me like an asshole Lexi. You don't want to talk."

"How do you know? You haven't even asked me anything!"

I don't know why I said it. I essentially invited him to ask me questions. It was a stupid thing to do when I still didn't have any intention of telling him anything close to the truth. Will pulled his eyes from the road and gave me a look, one that told me he knew my MO and after all these years living across the street and being best friends with Erin, I'm sure he did.

"You want me to ask you something?" he challenged. I didn't respond. I didn't nod or shake my head. I just continued to glare at him.

"Fine. Why did you text me tonight Lexi? Why did you need me to come and get you? I thought you were pretty clear the last time we spoke with how you wanted things to be. Hell, I thought you'd be halfway out of town by now." His Southern accent was getting more and more pronounced the angrier he got and when I opened my mouth to answer him, he cut my lie off before I even got it out.

"And don't give me that bullshit about you being drunk and needing a ride home. You're not that drunk Lexi; I've seen you drunk and this isn't it."

I knew he was referring to the night we spent together and I pulled my eyes away from him, trying to keep the memories out of my mind, but it was near impossible. It'd had never felt better than with Will...and I hated that. The wheels started spinning in my head as I quickly attempted to piece together a new excuse, one he'd believe.

"Why were you at the bar?" he demanded. I let out a small sigh. I could answer this question; it'd buy me some time.

"I was with Mary. She needed to talk."

"What happened to her?"

"We ran into Ian Malcolm and they left together."

Will didn't look surprised; I assumed that Erin had already filled him in on Mary's drama. I turned and looked out the window, resting my head against my palm. Neither of us said anything for a bit and I started to zone out, calming myself with the hypnotizing beat of the tires on the asphalt.

"Why didn't you take a cab?" His question seemed to come out of nowhere as it broke through my haze of exhaustion. I was tired. Both emotionally and physically and I felt like I didn't have it in me to lie anymore.

"I told you, I didn't have enough cash."

From the corner of my eye I saw him turn and a stare at me with a suspect look on his face. He knew I was lying but couldn't figure out why. Maybe a part of him thought I called because I wanted to see him again. Maybe a part of me did. I mean, I could've taken a cab home, but that didn't even occur to me once I thought of Will.

"What was Mark Stuben saying to you?"

"Who?" I tried to play dumb but I doubt he bought it. Our town was small. Even though Mark was older than Will, there was no way I wouldn't have at least heard of him before.

"Mark Stuben, the guy who was talking to you outside the club."

"Nothing."

"And here come the lies again..."

I slowly turned my head towards him and scowled at his profile. "I'm not lying. It was nothing, nothing that concerns you."

Will's jaw twitched. I knew I was pushing him away but honestly, it was for the best. Mark wanted to use him against me? Well, I wouldn't let him.

We drove the rest of the way home in silence and by the time Will pulled up into his driveway and shut off the ignition, I was already out of the car. I slammed the door behind me, ready to storm off across the street to my house without another word, but Will wasn't going to allow that to happen.

"That's it, huh? You're just going to run away! Go for it Lexi!" He called at my back, his voice piercing the quiet neighborhood. He sounded as if he was giving up on me and for some reason it felt like a knife tearing at my soul. It hurt even though I knew it was inevitable.

"We all know that that's how you handle things!" he shouted. "That's what you do, isn't it? Run away?"

I stopped in my tracks, twisted my body around, and looked back at Will. He was standing by his car looking down his driveway at me. His hands were in fists by his sides and he looked furious. He had no clue why I was pushing him away and I would never be capable of telling him.

There was no way the torment wasn't written all over my face. Everything inside me wanted to stay and fight, but my head was telling me to leave, that I had to get out of there before everything went to hell, because that's what would eventually happen. It'd all go to hell. I was used to listening to my head; I turned my heart off a while ago. I stared down at the asphalt, making myself not turn and run like I wanted to.

"Don't do it Lexi." I glanced up at Will. He knew what I was thinking and his eyes were begging me to stay. "Don't run away. Not from me. Not again."

"Will I--" My voice cracked and in the blink of an eye he was there, wrapping his arms around me and crushing me into his chest. His scent washed over me and I sucked in my breath trying to hold back the sobs that were breaking their way through. I felt my walls crashing down even though I was desperate for them to stay up and it was terrifying. Will was bulldozing his way through and I didn't have it in me to stop him. Every worn scar inside me that helped mask the pain suddenly felt raw and exposed and I could feel myself giving in, but I still tried to fight it.

It didn't matter though. Try as I might, Will didn't allow me to get away. His arms locked in around me and fought off my struggling until the tears finally won out. I ended up collapsing against him. I couldn't run, especially since it was clear now that Will had no intention of letting me go.