Hat-Trick

03

"How's your relationship with their mom?" Max asked curiously.

"She's honestly amazing. She's always been understanding and she's okay with me being apart of their life when they're ready" I said with a small smile on my face.

A few of the guys started to make jokes about me being "whipped" but I chose to ignore it. I didn't care because in my mind I knew that if anyone was going to be the mom of my kids, it was Chantelle I wanted.

"How do you feel about being a dad?" Mo asked.

"I'm terrified. I don't know anything about being a dad. They're already toddlers and I don't know how they'll react to my lifestyle. I don't even know if Chantelle will want them to be in the media which is a huge part of my life" I said, winding myself up.

John put his arm around my shoulders and gave me a reassuring smile, "Hey just take it easy, one day at a time. You said it yourself, Chantelle is understanding so you guys will work through this together. Being a dad is the hardest thing you'll learn to do but it's worth it in the end."

"Thank you guys, I really appreciate the support" I said gratefully.

We fell into more normal conversation and watched some tv to debrief before everyone decided to head home.

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After meeting with Chantelle the next day, I got home and sat on the couch, staring at my phone. I knew it needed to be done, there was no avoiding it now. I continued to stare at the screen until I could work up the courage to press the call button.

"Hi Aus, I wasn't expecting you to call today!"

"Hey mom, sorry for the random call, I just needed to talk to you about something" I said nervously. "Is dad with you?" I asked.

"Yes he's with me on the couch, is everything okay?" She said concerned.

"Yea, yea everything's fine. So um, I don't know if you remember Chantelle at all, the girl I was friends with when I first came to Toronto?" I started.

"Oh yes I remember her, she was such a lovely girl, did you talk again?" She said happily.

"Sorta. Before we stopped talking we kind of slept together and then our relationship got awkward after. She lost my number and couldn't contact me but I just saw her recently and we've been talking more" I said nervously, dancing around what I needed to say.

"Oh that's great Aus! I know you really liked her" my dad added.

I remained silent as I didn't know how to further the conversation to get to the main point of why I called.

"Is there something wrong? Did it not go well?" My mom asked concerned.

"No nothing like that, it was great actually it's just- so, we have kids together I guess" I spat out.

As soon as the words left my mouth i felt like an idiot. "We have kids together I guess" who says that?? I knew I was gonna have to rip the bandaid off but that probably wasn't the best wording I could have used.

My parents were silent on the other line, I could tell they were waiting for an explanation.

"After we hooked up she found out she was pregnant but had no way to contact me. We have twin girls." I said nervously.

The silence continued on the other line before I heard a sniffle.

"Oh Auston, oh my goodness that's- have you met them? how old are they?" my mom sputters out.

"I met them pretty briefly, we're gonna slowly introduce me into their life so they don't feel overwhelmed. They're three years old, their names are Jovie and June" I said feeling slightly proud to share this news with my parents.

I could hear the smile in my mom's voice as she spoke, "that's wonderful Auston, I hope she'll be comfortable with us meeting them, could you maybe send a picture when you get one?"

"Once they're comfortable with me as their dad I don't see why Y/N wouldn't want them to know you. I'll send you guys a picture later. I'm sorry to cut the conversation but I have to get ready for practice soon" I said.

"No problem son, we'll talk to you later and we're both proud of you yea?" my dad said. I could tell he was emotional too.

We exchanged "I love you's" before I hung up and left for practice.

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I was a nervous wreck.

Today is the first day i'm meeting the girls as more than just the hockey player on the ice. It was always easy to impress kids when you were dressed in pounds of gear and wore skates to make you tower over them, it always added something to your presence. Now here I was standing in front of the mirror, feeling small.

I spent 30 minutes trying to pick out something to wear before I felt ridiculous and just opted for a hoodie and jeans. We were only having dinner at their apartment but I was terrified of all the possibilities.

Would they be upset because I wasn't apart of their life earlier? Will they want to keep seeing me? Will Y/N want me to be in their life? I wasn't even sure if they would be able to understand the situation. How much could three year olds comprehend? I began to realize how little I knew about children in general, wondering how Chantelle managed to figure all of this out on her own with two newborns.

Before I could wind myself up anymore I put on my shoes and stepped out the door. I tried to play soft music in the car to help relax my nerves but I knew it was a waste of time trying at this point.

When I pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex I was finally able to take in the area, not really focusing on the building as the last time I was here, I had my daughter in my arms that I didn't know existed for the past three years. It was more downtown so the buildings were older and a little run-down. It wasn't the safest looking neighbourhood but I could tell there was a lot of families in the complex by the amount of toys around the lot and sounds of children's voices coming from the open windows.

As I walked up the stairs to her door, I felt a twinge of guilt at their living situation. The floor boards creaked with every step, alerting the building of my entrance, the wallpaper was slowly peeling and the ceiling was dark and bubbled with mold and water damage. The railings were slightly rusted and I cringed at the thought of little fingers sliding down the corroded metal. I would never judge Chantelle for providing everything she could for the girls, she had always been an insanely hard worker and I knew she worked her ass off to raise the twins, but I wish I could have been there to make sure they lived in a safer area and had the necessities they needed.

Approaching their apartment, I started to doubt myself, wondering if I would really be capable of being a dad. Would I be able to discipline them if I needed to? Would I know how to reason with them when they were being difficult? Could I help wind them down from a tantrum? No, I knew I needed to do this for Chantelle, these were our kids and they were my responsibilities too, I knocked on the door before I could change my mind and it quickly opened to reveal Chantelle.

She was just as beautiful as I remembered. I could tell she had been rushing around, her hair hung low in a messy bun that had clearly once been neat, she had a stain on her disheveled shirt and a rag hanging from her back pocket, but she still looked effortlessly gorgeous. Despite our relationship being strictly platonic before the hook up, I could never deny how pretty she was. Seeing her be a mom to our kids made me realize that those dull feelings I attempted to push away three years ago were still there.

"Hey, the girls are just running around right now so sorry about the mess" she said shyly, slightly out of breath.

I laughed as I stepped in and removed my shoes "You know i'm the last person you have to explain yourself to."

I awkwardly stood at the door as I felt out of place.

I could tell she knew how nervous I was because she put her small hand on my shoulder and smiled up at me, "don't be nervous, they're excited to see you and have been telling everyone about you."

I gave her a small smile as we walked towards the living room.