Hat-Trick

02

He laughed before looking down at the table. He seemed to be lost in thought, I could tell he didn't know where to start. While he was distracted, I took my time to study him. His curls peeked out from underneath his hat, making me giggle slightly at the thought of the twins morning hair, wondering if Auston's still looked like that when he woke up too. I could see his nervousness on his features, he would lick his lips too often, indicating his mouth was dry. He also played with the chain bracelet around his wrist, a habit he used to have when he was feeling shy or insecure. I felt compelled to ease his discomfort, starting first.

"Their names are Jovie and June. Jovie's older by 10 minutes. June is shorter than Jovie and her dimples are more prominent, that's how you can tell them apart" I said with a soft smile.

He smiled shyly while staring at the table.

"June is extremely shy and nervous, she always has been but her doctor says she may grow out of it eventually. She'll probably be slow to warm up to but she's very snuggly when she's comfortable. Jovie is the extrovert, she can talk your ear off and will rarely run out of energy. She'll definitely warm up to you the fastest because she already loves watching you play hockey. If you can't tell them apart by their looks, their personalities will give it away easily" I joked.

"What was their birth like?"

"It was dicey. I was just nearing 8 months when my water broke during a shift at work, which was insanely embarrassing might I add. Jovie had no problem coming out but June was a bit more difficult, I ended up needing a C-section with her and she spent some time in the NICU because she was having a hard time breathing on her own. It was pretty scary and I was in a lot of pain for awhile but my dad was helping me through everything"

"You were still working at 7 months?"

"I was trying my best to save up for an apartment, I didn't want my dad to feel like he had to take care of us"

He was quiet after that, staring at the table once again as I noticed a war going on in his head. I knew he felt bad for not being there, but I really didn't need his sympathy, I was doing just fine and I had two happy and healthy girls.

"Auston, we're all fine. Money may have been tight but everything's worked out" I reassured.

"I know, I just can't believe how much i've missed. You could have had a more secure life with them if we hadn't have lost contact"

"Hey don't do that, neither of us are to blame. You're here now, that's what's important" I said with a smile.

I tried to lighten the mood by telling him more stories about the girls, what their interests were, and their favourite things.

"Do they know i'm their dad?" he asked.

"No. They've never really asked, they just know people have mommies and daddies, and sometimes a mommy or a daddy isn't there." I said honestly.

"Will you tell them?"

"I see no need to lie to them, but I need to know that you're gonna be here. Being a dad is a lot more than just the fun stuff, If you want to do this you have to be there. I'm not telling them they have a dad just for him to leave. If you want them to know who you are, you have to be there when they throw temper tantrums and scream at the top of their lungs, when they wet the bed at night and need someone to help them clean up, when they don't want to listen and act as stubborn as their father, you need to be a dad" I said seriously.

"I'll be honest, I don't know the first thing about being a dad, but I care about you and I care about our daughters and I want to do what I can to be a good dad for them." He said softly.

I smiled and held his shaky hand that was resting on the table. Our daughters, I liked that.

"Give me some time to talk to them first and then we can figure it out from there"

"Also, i've kind of talked to some of the guys about everything. I hope you're not upset I just had a lot on my mind" he said nervously.

I laughed and let go of his hand, both of us grabbing our stuff.

"It doesn't bother me. I get that you needed some support." I said.

Auston bent down to give me a hug and I made my way back to the apartment.

When night rolled around, I was watching The Nightmare Before Christmas in bed with the twins.

"Remember when we talked about mommies and daddies and I said sometimes a mommy or a daddy isn't there?" I asked them quietly.

"mhm" they both hummed, their attention still at the tv screen.

"Well, that doesn't mean that the mommy or daddy isn't out there somewhere. It takes a mommy and a daddy to have a baby like you." I said tapping the girls on the nose as they giggled. "So your daddy has been out there for your whole life and now he wants to see you two" I said nervously.

The twins were silent for a moment. June looked at Jovie, waiting for her sister to say something first.

"Why was the daddy out there and not with us?" she asked innocently.

"mommy and daddy were very young when we knew each other, and daddy was very busy working. We didn't get to see each other after a while, and then we didn't talk anymore. When mommy found out she was having you two, she wasn't able to tell daddy because he was far away working, so he didn't know I had you. But if he did, he would have been with us the whole time" I said with a smile.

The twins sported shy smiles, taking in the new and exciting information. They both started giggling uncontrollably, somehow thinking the same thing without having to voice their thoughts.

"We have a daddy" June whispered through giggles to her sister.

Jovie wrapped her arm around her sister's shoulders and leaned into her, the twins comforting each other with all the new emotions they were feeling.

"Do you want to see a picture of your daddy?" I asked.

"yes please mama" "ya!" they both shouted.

I scrolled to the top of my camera roll to find an old picture of me and Auston sitting by a campfire holding hands. I remember that was the weekend we had gone to a rented cottage before Auston's season as a leaf begun. We had been sitting around the fire and I had never felt so at peace before, the light illuminating Auston's face in a way that made his eyes sparkle, making me fall deeper for the boy I could never have. Our friend had taken that picture, telling us we looked like a couple. We laughed then at how ridiculous the idea was, but we also hooked up that night in the tent so i guess the joke was on us.

I turned my phone around so the twins could see my screen, their faces contorting into a look of confusion as they continued to stare at the picture.

"Mama that's the hockey guy" Jovie said matter-of-factly. She had a serious look on her face like i told a mean joke and I couldn't help but laugh at her cuteness. I pulled the girls into a hug and snuggled into them as I laughed.

"I know angel, he's your daddy" I said with a warm smile.