Inside The Outsider

I'm not really sure on Darry though; he could've been nice to me just because i'm Dally's girl or because he pitied me. I really want to know why he helped me, and the only way to figure that out is to go down there myself and find out.
As my mind escaped it self, Clarice was waving her hand in my face," Hello?Diana?" "Huh?" She examined me to make sure i was okay," Were you havin' a vision or somethin'? You looked like a psychic goin' into a trance." I shook my head and faced her," We should get goin'." "I know," Clarice glanced at her watch,"I have a date with ya brotha." She finally set down that ugly wig and walked out of the store,"Why were you starin' at them white guys? Was one of them the boy you with?" I shook my head,"No it's just crazy how they were fighting each other." "Yeah i know, they'd usually be terrorizin' us. But i'm glad they're fightin', it kinda gives us negroes a break." "Barely."

We walked out of the city and stopped at a near by neighborhood that was close to ours,"I'll see ya later Diana." Clarice wrapped her arms around me and I did the same,"Bye Clarice." We let go of each other and went our separate ways.

As i continued to walk, i began to worry about my safety, it was broad daylight and people can see me. I didn't want the events that happened last time to reoccur again. I placed my hands into my jacket pockets and sang to myself. It's the only method to keep me relaxed,"The moment I wake up, before i put on my makeup; I say a little prayer for you. While combing my hair, now, and wondering what dress to wear, now, I say a little prayer for you." As i kept walkin', my hands were shakin' and my voice was tremblin'. As I neared the fence, i quietly opened it and closed it back gently; I steadily walked up the stairs to the house and stopped at the door.

My heart beat began to race and my hands were still shaking; i pulled up my hand and gently knocked on the door. I immediately retrieved my hand and put them behind my back. The door quickly flew open, but instead of Darry being there it was some other boy way smaller and a little familiar. He was skinny and little taller than me,his light brown hair was greased back and his blue eyes were starin' directly at me as if he knew me too," Can i come in?" He scratched the back of his head,"Uh yeah?" He stepped away from the door and i hesitantly stepped inside.

Once again, my heart was beating out of control. Alot of white guys were in here; a little chubby one was on the couch with a beer in his hand, a more tan one with black hair was starin' at me as if i were a ghost. Two more guys were sitting at a table playin' cards, but their focus was unfortunately on me. I took a look at them; one of them was actually really cute with his brown suave hair and pretty eyes. The other one had black greasy slicked back hair and muscles that were protrudin' from his shirt. The way he was lookin' at me was terrifying, like i had intruded or stole something from him.

I turned away from his intimidatin' stare and glanced at the boy who invited me in,"I take it that Darry isn't here?" The ones i was facin' were inspectin' me, especially the tan one; the slender boy shook his head,"No he isn't." "Hey aren't you the crazy girl who had the gun pulled out on ya at the diner?" The one with the beer in his hand questioned; i nodded my head. "Why do you wanna see Darry? I never seen him hangin' around any negroes." The pretty boy asked shockingly, I glanced at him and he was starin' at me intently, I swallowed the lump in my throat. Being here was makin' me more uncomfortable each second. These were Dally's friends and their opinion about me would definitely effect him if they knew we were together. I had to get out of here,"Um I'm gonna go." I backed up from where i was standin', almost near the door.

Suddenly, someone barged through the door, which caused me to jump in surprise; i turned around and my eyes grew wide,"Diana!? What are you doin' here!?" I was choked on my words,"Dally, you datin' her?" One of them asked, i wasn't payin attention, i was just focused on Dally who was glarin at me. Without a warnin, the boy with the black hair and muscles got up from his seat,"Are you out of your mind, datin someone like her," He glared at Dally then me,"You're better off datin a soc than her." I glanced at him and back at Dally who was just standin there; his jaw was clenched and his fists were balled up,"What you doin with that nigger?" I grabbed the sleeves of my jacket to keep myself from lashin out, Dally was still just standin there, my eyebrows furrowed in disbelief.

I scanned around the room, all the boys were shocked at what was goin on. I glanced at Dally one more time before pushin by him and stormed out of the house. I grabbed the fence door and swung it open, I was about to keep walkin until my wrist was firmly gripped and turned me around,"Diana listen-" i yanked my wrist from Dally's grip," What do you want from me Dallas!? Huh? What's the point of being with me!?," He stared into my eyes not saying a word,"Cause I'm tired of this. I'm tired of everything! I do nothing to these people, and they judge me as if I'm the bad guy!" Dally combed back his hair in frustration,"I'm tired of being hated for nothin', I'm tired of being silent, and I'm tired of hidin' for the sake of your street creditability!," I slipped off the jacket and threw it at him with all the strength I had,"So you can take this jacket!" Tears were welling up in my eyes and my heart was beating out of my chest, I grabbed my left hand and gazed at the ring on my finger,"I love you too much Dally...But it's best that we stick to our own kind."

I swirled the ring off my finger and squeezed it in my hand. Tears began to spill from my eyes. It's hard to feel beautiful or loved, when a world you live in is segregated by the color of your skin. But when I met him, everything changed. Changed for the better and for the worst, but as much as I want him, I need to let him go for the both of us,"Diana.." I gazed into his eyes one last time and threw the ring at him as i ran away from there for good.