Her Choice

Chapter 18

Alpha

She really left. She just left. She picked Laroi over me. Heartbroken is an understatement to how I feel. The same thing has been going through my head since she left me at the lake. She chose him.

I turn in my bed, not able to sleep. I have not had a good night's rest since Saturday, and it's Thursday morning. I don't feel like getting up. I don't feel like leaving my room. My mum is worried. She keeps asking what's wrong. My answer has been the same. I am perfectly fine, mum. She asked about Cameron the other day. The sound of her name makes my heart sink. I still love her. I love her so much that it hurts. I brushed my mum off, telling her that I was sure that Cameron was doing fine. She got the hint and left the topic, but not before telling me that she didn't see Cameron at the service on Sunday. When she told me, I was worried. I wonder why she would miss service, but I didn't show any emotion to my mum. I didn't want her to know about anything. If possible, the name Cameron should be erased from her mind and from mine. Please from mine. I can't have her yet I can't stop thinking about her.

Cameron occupies every part of my mind. She's everywhere. It's so painfully and her constant calls and texts aren't exactly helping matters. I know she just wants to apologise, but I don't want an apology. I want her. I want her all to myself. I want to be with her. An apology would make me hear her voice without being able to reminisce in it. An apology would put a stamp on the fact that she can't be mine. I won't pick up her calls, and I won't answer her texts. I've read every one of them over and over again. I can say them without having to look at my phone. Yesterday, she sent a text, though, and there was something about this one. It was different. She wasn't asking me to pick up her calls or for me to respond to her. She wasn't pleading to hear my voice. She wasn't telling me how guilty she was. Her text was somehow urgent. It made me want to drop everything and call her right there and then, but I resisted it. I don't want her to feel pity towards me. I really don't need an apology. I want her to be happy. If she's happy, I'll be happy. I'll move on sooner or later. But that text.

I turn in my bed again and pick up my phone. It's nine thirty in the morning. I go to her text again. The one she sent last night.

"I need to talk to you."

That's it. I know I shouldn't worry about it. It's a short text that probably means nothing. She has sent longer text, but I don't know why. This one tugs at my heart. There's something more to it. Maybe I just need some air. I should take a walk or jog or something. I just need to leave my room. I get up and walk to the bathroom. I came out a while later bathed, and my teeth brushed. I throw on shorts and a tank top. I run my hand, throat my hair, and leave my room.

Mum is in the kitchen making breakfast. "Morning, baby."

"Morning." There's no emotion in my voice anymore. She's really worried, but she shouldn't be. I am really fine. I walk to the door. I reach out to open it when she stops me in my tracks.

"Won't you have breakfast?" I turn to her.

"No, ma. I'm good." I turn back to the door.

"Come here." I really want to ignore her and walk out the door, but I can't do it. She didn't cause me the pain I'm battling with. I drop my hand from the door knob and walk to the kitchen where she's waiting for me.

"Yeah?"

"Are you alright, honey?" She steps closer to me.

"I'm fine, mum."

"Alpha! You're not fine. Since you got back on Saturday, you've been sad and lifeless." It's true, but I'm not about to tell her what really happened.

"It's nothing, mum." She lets out a sigh of frustration.