Salvation | Severus Snape

Chapter 25 - Revealed

Yes, you read that right. I can imagine the shock on your face, your widened eyes and your mouth slightly open as you take in all this information.

My real name is Katherine Potter... and I'm the sister of James Potter.

That's the real reason I knew Lily well. That's the reason I knew about your past. After they started dating, James brought Lily when he visited — sometimes Lily would even come on her own. She became a dear friend, I trusted her deeply. I found out a lot about you, and let me assure you something. Lily never truly hated you. She said it herself, she left you because you were too deep into the Dark Arts and the idea of joining the Death Eaters. This is exactly what she said: "I've forgiven Severus for what he called me, I know he's been terribly misguided and it pains me to know that my absence is making it worse. I still value my memories with him, I wish I'd been a better friend and stayed by his side, but now it's too late. I just hope he will realise what he's doing and understand how I felt." Trust me, she wouldn't have entrusted the necklace to me before she died if she hadn't cared about you. While I don't agree with everything she said... I hope knowing that will bring you some peace and that you would be able to move on.

And if it wasn't obvious already, I have to admit that I told you a big lie. Are you ready to find out?

It started with: "I'm interested in Remus Lupin." Sure, I loved him as a friend and we clicked well. But the truth is, it's always been you. I was interested in you ever since I laid eyes on you. You were never just a stand-in to me, I purposely picked days when it would just be you and me. And... I love you, Severus Snape. I know what you're thinking, but no, this isn't some sort of sick joke. If you're in disbelief, let me explain. It's not that I've been loving you the whole twenty or so years I was away, that would just be absurd. I dated others in the past, but still, I always felt something for you whenever your name was mentioned. Seeing you around the castle again made my feelings resurface, so much stronger than I've felt with anyone else. There's not always an explanation to love. Often you just can't help but fall, and that's what I felt with you at first. But it's different now. After all the time we spent together, I've found a million reasons, from which my feelings for you became a choice. My choice. I would choose you every time, Severus, because I really, really love you.

The moment I received a letter from St. Mungo's saying that my condition would get worse and that I might not be so fortunate this time around, I panicked. I had my first surgery the week before Lily and James' death and it stabilised my illness, but there were still worries of it coming back. That was why I decided to remain at Hogwarts and hide away from the rest of the school, afraid of making connections. For so long, I cared for you from a distance, along with the other staff and students, observing everyone's actions and feelings. I was set on staying out of the way, I convinced myself it was for the best. Albus agreed, in case anyone recognised me as a Potter. I'd always wished I could talk to you and be by your side, see how I really felt about you... I just feared you would push me away. That day, I finally snapped — it didn't matter how much I struggled, I had to at least talk to you. It would be strange if I just told you my true intentions though. I'm sure you wouldn't have believed me and I knew you weren't ready for anything romantic. So, I asked Albus to help us meet, under a pretence. No matter how difficult it was, I was still so happy to be next to you. You inspired me to live how I wanted, to embrace who I wanted to be. At the end of the day, I got to spend my final moments with you, that was all that mattered.

Remember the snowfall when you first met me? It was exhilarating to dance in the cold, especially since I could talk to you for the first time. Remember the Christmas crackers you and Dumbledore pulled, how he was dressed as Santa and you as an elf? That was a sight nobody could forget and I know you secretly enjoyed the attention. Remember the pear trees that were starting to grow back in spring? They were marvellous, being reborn and thriving again. Remember the fireflies in the forest? Sneaking around like that, it was thrilling and those creatures were so frail, yet persistent in bringing light. And then there's my favourite: the Yule Ball. I loved the feeling of dancing in your arms, feeling such freedom whenever you lifted me up. On top of that, all those other moments... all those times I tried to help you and stay with you... and then when you were the one staying with me. You let me hold your hand, sat beside me all throughout, until I had to go. Honestly, I couldn't have wished for a better ending. All these trivial memories bring me so much comfort and make me feel stronger.

I don't agree with Lily when she said it was too late. It's never too late. I have so much faith in you. I've seen your emotions and your pain. Deep inside, you know what's right, and I know you have the ability to change. You're strong, Severus. We all have our inner battles. Yours was a straight-out war and yet, you haven't fallen. I'm so proud of you for making it so far. That's what makes you so beautiful to me.

I know, it's really unfair that I've uncovered so much of your past when I've hidden most of mine, until just now. I'm sorry. The truth is, I wanted so badly to tell you everything, to let you in on all my secrets... I just thought revealing too much would make it much worse when I left you. I guess it's too late now. Still, I really hope you'll move on, but never forget. That's my wish — that you'll continue on with life and see its colour, with or without me.

I'm sorry for lying to you. I'm sorry for being so annoying and stubborn. I'm sorry to be leaving you in such a short time and not getting to know you more.

Thank you. Thank you for everything. Thank you.

With all my heart,
Katherine

P.S. One last thing, I really appreciate your Christmas gift. I was able to make a small photo album of us. I hope you will like it too. I'm also gifting you back the camera, please make more memories with it!