𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞 » j.g × j.w

e l e v e n

johnnie

in the ambulance, one of the emts keeps trying to make small talk with me but i just sit there in silence.

"you ever been to a facility like this before?" he asks.

silence. i stare out the ambulance window, avoiding eye contact as always. maybe i'm overthinking it but i feel like with eye contact, people can see what i'm thinking.

i don't want people to see what i'm thinking.

"it won't be that scary," he says, taking my vitals. i can tell he's running out of things to say.

"i look weird," i mumble.

"huh?"

i groan in annoyance. "i don't have make up on or my piercings in. i look ridiculous."

"you look great, bud!" he says with full enthusiasm.

i roll my eyes. "you're such a suck up."

i glance over at him and he looks like he's about to cry.

"i know i just tried to kill myself but holy shit stop being so nice!" i shout.

"everything good back there?" the other emt calls from the front. "y-yes," the one in the back says, wiping his eyes.

i close my eyes before muttering, "can we dim the lights?"

"we can't. sorry bud." he sniffles a bit. i groan again once more.