CHAPTER 2

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Suena

   It was the last days of January. University exams had long been over, and universities had started their vacations one by one. Students were already enjoying their holidays in the student houses, apartments, and dorms where they stayed. However, I, despite being a second-year university student, was still living in my mother's house. Even though I was a young girl at the age of twenty, my dear mother did not allow me to move into a new house for university. But whose fault was it that I chose to study in the city where I lived when there were so many states in the whole country?

   Even if I personally went to New York, it was clear that my mother would follow me. No, I mean, I'm not saying our situation is bad just because we're swimming in money, but that's not the problem; it's just that growing up with my mother is something like this, probably.

   My father died in a traffic accident when my mother was only 2-3 months pregnant with me. My father was not my mother's husband, just her boyfriend. It was a little affair for them. My father passed away without even knowing about my existence. My mother received the news of my father's death over the phone one evening when she was in her twenties. Less than a month after my father's death, my mother went to watch the Northern Lights, which she always dreamed of, to clear her mind and overcome these events. Of course, I didn't learn any of this from my mother. I learned from Ellie, who took care of my mother at the time, and later took care of me and handled all the household chores. What my mother told was just a closed box. Whenever I asked, she would give very straightforward answers and dismiss me. I attributed this to the fact that my father's absence saddened her, and I didn't press her about it.

   The only thing I learned from my mother was that my father died before I was born. Anyway, my mother went to the polar regions to watch the Northern Lights. Of course, she didn't know she was pregnant when she went. She lived there for a year. I think she learned that she was pregnant there, but I don't know the details of how she learned it.

   Was she surprised, saddened? Did she realize by noticing weight gain, or did she learn from nausea? Or maybe she didn't know until childbirth. These are possibilities. My mother never told me what she experienced there. Although she looked very cold from the outside, she was actually a woman with a warm heart. As cold as she appeared to the outside world, she was just as warm to me. She did everything I wanted, including any request that would take me away from her.

   I wonder how much my mother suffered in the North Pole. Did she regret seeing loneliness as a remedy? How did she react when she learned about me while going to forget my father? I could never ask her these questions because I didn't want to reopen her wounds. I've always said "maybe," maybe there is another reason for my mother's trip to the North Pole. I read a book about it. I don't know how accurate it is. The Northern Lights are said to be the meeting point of souls in love. Maybe my mother went there to feel the presence of my father's soul, who knows?

   Later, after a year, my mother returned to Las Vegas, to her home. Everyone was very surprised when they saw me a few months old next to my mother. My mother explained the situation to her family immediately. She said I was the deceased ex-lover of my father. My grandparents welcomed it with tolerance, but my father's family did not accept this situation. At first, they accused my mother. They said she might have had an affair where she went. Later, to make sure, they asked for a DNA test. My mother perceived this as an insult and said she wouldn't take any tests and didn't want a family who didn't believe her to take care of a child. Emphasizing that she was rich enough herself, she asked them to give me their last name, saying she wouldn't accept it anyway. Since then, she has never seen my father's side, and I have never known any of them. I have no intention of looking for them. I don't want a family that doesn't want me. Right now, my ID lists my mother's closest cousin Jake as my father. My mother loved me a lot, and they were very close. That's why she included me in her population, and she was diagnosed with cancer when I was 2 years old and died within a year. After his death, my mother took me with her and left her family. They never met again.

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