If only...

34. just sex

after dinner, I was sitting in front of the heater, praying for something good and that my fears were just illusions inside my head. Suddenly the phone rang and I felt that my heart was almost stopping from fear.
I gathered my strength.
I answered the phone, and it was Dr. jane who conducted the tests.

"good evening Can I speak to Miss Mon?"

"Of course... wait a minute please"
I said that in a shaky voice, and my legs could barely hold me up.

"Mon, please come here."
I called to Mon who was in her room and after a few seconds, she left her room, looking at me as if she was checking me to see if I was okay,

"umm....the results... please come."
I said that in a weak voice, trying to hide the panic that was clearly visible on me.
Mon came down with indifference, fear, or anxiety and took The phone to talk to the doctor while I was on the verge of fainting. She was listening to what the doctor was saying with features that could not be understood from her, but based on the conversation and what I heard, the results were good but I could not stop myself or wait for Mon to end the call, it seemed that the doctor was talking to her and advising her about something and that scared  me to be honest so I called Dr. William who knew that I was worried, and without waiting a moment, he reassured me and told me that the results were good but that does not mean that we are safe or everything was fine and that we should expect the worst at any moment and she need to be careful and take care of herself I didn't care what he said later, but I was happy that she was fine at that moment, and that was all that mattered. I hung up the phone and turned around to find Mon looking at me with a raised eyebrow while I almost jumped from my joy....I didn't wait a moment and hugged her tightly, because I was ready to take a bullet from her at that moment but I didn't care. I needed to hug her... i was happy because the girl i love was fine.
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It was 10 pm
I was sitting in front of the heater, thinking about what had happened the previous two days and how things were starting to get a little better.
Mon was no longer pushing me away from her like she used to.... For a moment, I thought that maybe I had a chance and that Mon would accept me... one day.

the doorbell rang and  When I was trying to stand up to open the door, Mon already opened the door and closed the door with a small box in her hand.
She went to the kitchen and then came with two plates, two glasses and a bottle of wine...... I swear that at that moment my heart almost stopped. DOES SHE STILL REMEMBER?

I was looking at her with wide, Tears eyes unable to close my mouth or say anything.

"You should have spent your birthday with your family"
Mon said that and then she sat on the sofa that I was leaning on while I was sitting on the floor

"you ... you still remember!!"
I said that while I was still trying to comprehend what was happening.

" your sister called while you were sleeping and She was worried... said she was going to leave you a message, anyway It's not my business but your family are worried about you."
She said that while she was sipping from the glass of red wine in her hand and looking at the fire in the fireplace that was in front of her.

annoying voice inside my head was telling me that maybe that night would be my last night at Mon's house and the idea was hurting my heart.

I understood what she was trying to say and decided at that moment to enjoy the moment. For the first time in my life, I was spending my birthday with her... and perhaps for the last time.

After moments of strange silence, I blew out the candles, and in my head was one wish that I was ready to do anything to achieve....  I felt her looking at me while I closed my eyes and prayed to God for something that seemed like a distant dream. ....After that, I cut the cake and put a piece on a plate and presented it to her without saying anything, i put some cake on my plate as well.