A LITTLE OVER A WEEK LATER: EARLY APRIL 2014
• M A L I K •
I looked up at the sky as it rained on me. I let the water fall down my face, drenching my hair so much that it weighed my head down a bit, this fancy black suit I rented—my soul. I wonder if she's up there. I thought.
I'm praying she's up there. Maybe one day, she'll be reunited with me. Maybe one day, she'll be able to see her children grown up, and all three of us will tell her all about life. The ups and the downs. We'll cry, laugh, apologize to each other for the stupid kid shit we did to each other...
Yeah, Imma hold on to that dream. I have to. If I don't, I'll turn into the Devil. I know it because...I felt my heart darken on that day.
But, lucky for me, I have an angel watching over me. A real-life one. One that would do anything for me. One that loves me, even if he won't say. I know. I feel it with every fiber of my being.
I gotta real real-life angel too, in fact, he's standing next to me, holding an umbrella over my head. "You gon' get sick, Malik," he whispered.
"We have gathered here today to celebrate the life of Miss LaTasha Moore," the minister spoke. "We are here today to seek and to receive comfort. To love on each other. We would be less than honest if we said that our hearts had not ached over the loss of Miss Moore. We are not too proud to acknowledge that we have come here today trusting that God would minister to our hearts, and give us strength as we continue in our walk with Him.
It is our human nature to want to understand everything now, but trust requires that we lean and rely heavily on God even when things seem uncertain." he continued, but I barely heard a word. It's like his words flowed through me. The only thing I could do was stare at the hole in the ground.
"Mommy," I hear my precious baby cry. I could hear that from a mile away. And as much as I wanted to console her at that moment, I couldn't.
"It's okay, baby," I hear my sister say. I'm thankful for her because I can't even look at Madison. I can't.
I can't do it. Not today. Not today.
"Mommy come back," she continued. It felt as if my heart was being ripped out of my chest.
To hear your child scream—I mean a scream so horrible that it shakes you to your core.
I can't handle it. I felt if I looked at her, I would die.
"It's okay, baby. She's in a better place. I promise," I heard my sister continue.
"Her journey may have ended sooner than we would've liked, but we have to push forward. I think she would've wanted it that way.
We will deeply miss LaTasha. But forever, she will live in our hearts. And I rejoice this day that she IS with our Lord and Savior, so hear me when I say:
Ring out the welcome.
Swing wide the gates.
Choirs of angels stand and sing,
There's one more soldier of the King.
