CHAPTER 50: HER DECISION & HIS FATE

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"It is not good, Xander."

Elisthia looked rattled, she did not even address Xander as Lord anymore. Rovan stood next to her with deep furrows on his forehead.

Xander watched his bandaged palm. "Why is it not good for me to go to the one whom I love?"

"Hermes, the messenger of the gods, has come to me in my oracle meditation to bear a message from Zeus. Zeus is not happy that you absorbed the poison of Leidra to save Airin. You cannot enter the glory of Olympus because of that."

"I know that. I have no regret."

"But now, you want to jump into the elegarii well to go to her. Zeus is angry. He thinks you are a fool."

"Maybe I am a fool, Elisthia. But I have spent my life wounded and living just to atone for my past. I am done with that. I want to be ... alive."

"Airin has gone back to her universe for three months now. Maybe you should move on and choose a wife from Halgard," it was now Rovan who spoke.

"I will not. I promise her I will come to her, and she will wait for me, she will give me the answer to my question."

Rovan and Elisthia both sighed. Then Elisthia spoke,"You have absorbed the poison of Leidra, if you jump into the well of elegarii, you will never be able to come back to Halgard."

Rovan shut his eyes and sighed in desperation, while Xander trembled when he heard Elisthia.

"We cannot even go and take you back to Halgard because the well will kill you if you get into it because it recognizes the poison in you. You can go away from Halgard, but you can never come back." Elisthia nodded to strengthen herself, and continued, "And if Airin does not allow you to be in her life, if she does not love you back, you will not find home in her universe either. You will be stuck for all eternity in a grey space between her universe and our universe." Elisthia sounded calm as she explained the consequences to Xander.

Xander was quiet.

"Stay here with me, brother. You have surrendered the throne of Halgard back to me when I become healthy again. But I still need you to be my advisor." Rovan walked and stood next to Xander now.

"My decision stays. I will go to Airin."

"How about if she does not allow you to be in her life? How about if you can never come back here, and just stuck for all eternity in an empty grey space?" Elisthia could not understand Xander's decision, her voice cracked from hushed cry.

"Then at least I have taken a shot at trying to love, and if that was a mistake, then an eternity of grey space would be my world. I am at peace."

Rovan and Elisthia were quiet as they let Xander's words seep within them.

"Your life will now depend on Airin's decision. A yes means you live in her universe, a no means you are stuck in an eternity of nothingness without any possibility of coming home to Halgard. Are you sure, Xander?" Rovan tilted his head, looking at Xander with intense focus.

Xander took his brother's shoulder, squeezed it, and nodded. "I am."

Rovan sighed, and so did Elisthia. Both looked downcast when their heart and mind digested all that they had heard from Xander.

"How about the winged horses? Would they ever be able to rise again without you?" Elisthia lifted his head and creases of worry were obvious on her face.

"I was going to tell both you this news too. They have chosen a new master, the one who can raise them when the time comes and they are needed again to defend Halgard," Xander was calm, it was almost he was smiling when he spoke.

"Who?" Elisthia walked closer to Xander as she asked her question.

"Lyanna."

Rovan's mouth opened in surprise, but it slowly turned into a smile. "My daughter. The future queen of Halgard. She is so blessed!"

Elisthia sighed, she seemed to be thinking about what reaction she should give, before she finally nodded.

"Lyanna has what it takes to be a great leader of Halgard someday. She has a queen within her heart. She is young, but courageous and strong. She will do well," Xander patted Rovan's shoulder.

Rovan took a deep breath, and spoke,"I will guide her well, brother. I promise you."

Then Rovan sighed one more time, his expression turned lighter like he finally understood something. "I am sad that this is your decision, but I am not surprised. Listen, brother. You have endured so much pain for so many years, being there for me always, protecting me, sacrificing so much for me. This is what I can do for you. You have my support."

Elisthia took a bit longer, she twisted her fingers, thought, before finally also smiling and nodding. "You have my support, Xander. I will deal with the gods about this. You go to Airin. Go find your happiness!"

Xander rushed and hugged his two bestfriends. "I hope, do hope, very much, that Airin will accept you in her life. So I can show up in her universe to find you for advice about Halgard," Rovan smiled at his brother.

Xander patted his shoulder. "I do hope so too. But it is up to her."

"You still are not going to tell her about your wound?" Elisthia asked, pointing to Xander's bandaged palm with her chin.

"Maybe someday. I do not spend so many years of my life being wounded, trapped within my own darkness, only to be loved in the end because of pity, because she feels the need to return the favor."

Rovan and Elisthia understood.

Xander smiled, then laughed. He was ready to jump into the well of the elegarii, to Airin.

THE END

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