At night,they four went out to a local tea store.As it was already quite night,there were almost no people out in the road.Ishan went to order tea for them and the others waited on the roadside bench.Shubman didn’t drink tea or coffee and he wasn’t surprised when Ishan returned with 3 cups of tea and 1 cup of hot milk.Isn't it always like this?Ishan remembering tiniest details about him?What Shubman is allergic to,What made Shubman uncomfortable,What Shubman likes most,Everything.The thought that he will remember tiniest detail of some other girl's from now on made him uncomfortable and a lot jealous.And he didn’t like the fact that he is feeling jealous.
He tried to calm himself giving his attention back to the group. They were discussing something funny.But Shubman's mind choose only to focus on Ishan's lips rather than the subject.They are so perfect.It might felt like heaven for anyone to dive into it.Ishan looks so perfect when he smiles.What would it feel if he suddenly shut Ishan's smile with his lips?Would Ishan push him?Why is Shubman thinking about Ishan in an inappropriate way is so frequent now!
At night they five decided to do flooring and slept together.They played card till late night.They also had some decent amount of drink.When they finally all slept,scattered,Shubman found him looking at Ishan again.Shubman fondly ruffle Ishan's hair lightly so that his sleep won't be disturbed.But suddenly he felt the pull to kiss his forehead,so he did.But he have no idea how intention of one forehead kiss turned into trail of kisses on Ishan's cheek,eyes.He brushed Ishan's lips lightly with his.He suddenly felt hot in this chilli weather.He suddenly felt suffocated, suffocated for Ishan,suffocated by the wedding.A new types of longing is creating in his heart.He doesn't want to share Ishan.Now yet at least.What if this new girl takes his Ishan completely!But scariest part is,He is known to this longing.He had once felt it for a girl.Wait,wait,this is supposed to be felt for a girl!Not for his very best friens who is getting married in four days!Shubman's thinking is being grappled now.
What Shubman didn’t notice was Mayank wasn’t there with them in bed.He went to bring water bottle and he witnessed the whole thing from door.Mayank needs to talk to Shubman tomorrow morning he thought.
Next morning Mayank asked for specially Shubman as company when he needed to go to flower market.
Shubman agreed.Although Shubman secretly wished he could go with Ishan.In the way, Mayank initiated the conversation-
"So Shubman,How's Naina?"
"She is alright "Shubman replied.
Then he added "Mayank, this Aditi girl,Ishan said you know her.Did you introduced them?"
"Yeah.I wanted Ishan to move on."
"Move on from what?I don't recall he was in love with anyone!" Shubman asked surprised.
"Shubman,Are you happy with this marriage?"Mayank changed the topic.
" I don’t think my happiness matters here" Shubman replied. Why that suffocation is starting again in his stomach!
"I think it matters most" Mayank replied with a small smile.
In the evening Shubman first time met this Aditi person,his Ishu's would be wife."She is a treat to eyes,Shubman won't deny.But no reason to jump to marry her"!Shubman thought bitterly.
It was a formal meet and greet Ishan arranged to introduce Aditi with his friends. He booked the VIP corner for them.Shubman's irritation increased when Ishan took his sit by Aditi.
"Hi,I am a big fan of all of you,and Shubman my friends are crazy for you." Aditi said cheerfully.
"Eee..Thanks." Shubman tried his best to return the warmth.
They all talked a lot except Shubman.Aditi seemed friendly.But Shubman couldn’t engage in the friendly talk.When they were returning, Rishabh suggested, the would be bride and groom should have some privacy so they decided they would go home in another car.Shubman protested.He was already in a bad mood.He kind of shouted.
"They will live together rest of their lives.We won’t get Ishan like this anymore!"
"Yeah,get used to it Shubman.Stop acting like a baby" Rishabh face palmed.
Shubman is feeling sick.He doesn’t want to attend the marriage anymore.He wants to go home.He felt like his first relationship when the girl dumped him for someone else.He felt so helpless.He haven’t felt like this long time.Is he in love....No no,that is impossible to begin with.Right?Shubman isn’t gay.He never felt anything for any male.But he won't mind kissing Ishan if needed to.Everything felt way too confusing to think now.
Shubman needed a quiet place to calm himself.The weeding house and it's hustle,fun all was making him sick.He went straight to the roof of the house.Sitting at one edge thinking.He was so lost in his thought that he forgot he might be missed by his friends.
"Shubman,Are you crying?"-It was his Di.
Is he?oh god why is his eyes damp.He himself didn’t know he was crying.
" Di,I think I am very very selfish."Shubman lowered his head.
"What,why do think that!"
"Di I am feeling jealous to Aditi just because my attention will be divided .This is the only reason I couldn't like such a lovely girl today at dinner" Shubman replied.
"I have noticed.I also felt jealous when my best friend started dating,I guess it’s normal to feel.But is this only the reason Shub?"-Di assured.
" Di, did you also wanted to have the same physical intimacy with your best friend,what your friend and his boyfriend have?"Asked Shubman.
"What!?No,never.Wait,Do you want same intimacy like Ishan and Aditi with Ishan, Shubi?"
"I do"-Shubman's voice is barley audible.
YOU ARE READING
You Fell First But I Fell Harder
Fanfiction"I Fell first!I was all alone drowning in that sea of feeling"- said Ishan. " But I fell harder Ishan!And the irony is I know I have to sink down "-Said Shubman This story is about both realising their right person in a very wrong time.
