LOVELORN

34|Anxiety & new experiences

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THE MOMENT I stepped out of Zora's house, the coiling feeling in my stomach got unbearable. I pulled at my sweatshirt for some air because I was already sweating. We'd gathered at her place so we could get ready and drive together, like we'd done for the Halloween party months back.

I tried to shake away the anxiety, but it was clinging to me desperately. There was no reason to be anxious. My friends were there and it wasn't a big party or anything, but still, meeting new people made my anxiety flare up. I'd considered changing my outfit a million times and had nearly typed out a message saying something had come out and I couldn't go even more times.

My body was overreacting, my mind creative with the amount of 'what ifs' it could conjure up. Logic told me it would be fine. Every other part of me was acting like we were in a life-or-death situation.

"Anxious?" Zora asked.

I was still hovering by the door, along with Zora, who I hadn't noticed was there, while the other two were stepping into the car.

"I'm okay," I lied, even though I knew she could tell.

"You can tell me if you want to leave early."

"I'm not a kid, I'll be fine," I snapped, following it with a murmur of an apology, having instantly wished I could retract my words.

She looked taken aback and cleared her throat, turning away from me. "Yeah, all right. Sorry." Then she walked toward the car and got into the passenger's seat. Mai was driving us.

I stayed back for a moment longer, then followed. The knot in my stomach had grown more intense,  worsening because of the tension between Zora and me. My eyes stayed focused on the passing road the entire way, hardly interacting with the others.

Silas and Caio were waiting outside of the apartment complex. We found a parking spot and then made our way to them. Together, we took the elevator up, Silas leading the way. He walked us down the hallway of the top floor and knocked on a door.

It opened less than a minute later, revealing a rather muscular man with tattoos crawling up his arms. "Silas!"

He smiled. "Hey, man."

They did that handshake guys always do before he gestured for us to come in with a wide grin. Breathe, I had to tell myself so I wouldn't start acting like an idiot.

"I'm Tristan, owner of the apartment. It's nice to meet you all. Let me show you around and introduce you to the idiots," he explained with a lighthearted tone as we stepped into the living room.

Three people were sitting on the couch. One of them, a girl, was sitting with her knees up, laughing at something the guy next to her said. On his other side, was another girl, also listening to the man in the middle. My eyes moved to the armchair next to the couch before I quickly averted them, catching a glimpse of a couple making out.

The first one who noticed us was the girl who'd had her knees up on the couch. She almost jumped up, hurrying to go greet Silas, whom she hugged with a smile. Then Mara, wearing that same easy smile. Like it came naturally to her.

Up close, I noticed she also had tattoos. Not nearly as many as Tristan, but still, scattered across her tan skin, from her arms to her chest and stomach, visible because of her crop top. There was a ring in her nostril, a piercing in her belly button revealed by her low-set sweatpants, and a great deal of ear piercings. Her shoulder-length brown hair was cut into a shag that fit her perfectly.