Lights Flicker And Fade : Kol Mikaelson [3]

257: You're On Your Own Kid

The ringing in MJ's ears was back.

She hadn't expected Ryos to actually say it.

Why was he saying it? How could he suddenly just apologise? What was she meant to do now – just accept it? No. MJ refused. She didn't want to. Was it really an apology if he still stood by everything that happened between them?

"I should've told you," Ryos continued, "At least, once I thought I'd healed it."

MJ couldn't pretend he didn't have a point with the whole 'you would've gotten yourself killed trying to help' bit.

"I should have told you about our extended family, and I should have told you about The Travellers – why we didn't need to be scared of them if I played my cards right."

But part of him would always think they'd be happier without magic.

Because he'd lost the ability to love it.

Because he'd melded with a power whose entire job was to turn everything it touched into hatred.

"I'm sorry I left you in New York."

Her throat was dry.

"But you were better on your own."

Safer, in some ways.

Smarter.

Able to experience the love he hadn't been able to offer her anymore.

Not because he didn't want to, but because he'd made a choice he couldn't undo.

"You always were."

The brightest kid in the class, unable to talk to anyone as spirits invaded her brain.

She'd started seeing them because of him.

She could hear them because of their mother.

"If she'd just let me die, none of this would've happened."

MJ froze.

"An only daughter, no one able to theorise about siphoners. No death-kissed voices. No covens getting involved," Ryos exhaled, "Just you. The strongest witch of the age."

"But I wouldn't have had you."

"And you never needed me."

"I always needed you," Her tone flat, "That's the point of this Ryos."

"The 'point' is that, to the universe, I died."

She didn't dare blink.

"It always balances itself."

Her mouth opened, begging words to come out.

"You righted it, MJ. Our mother's choice – "

"She saved you!"

"And cost you your future," He walked around the table, "Cursed you to a million awful things because she screwed up and couldn't live with that."

"You were her son!"

"And she threw me to death," His skin seemed pale, "You are not allowed to feel guilty about killing me."

"Ryos."

"I spent my whole life trying to work out why nothing felt right," He was in front of her, hair flopping just slightly over his face, "Why something was always tearing me apart."

"You were hexed – "

"Before then," He softened, "I could always hear things in walls and streets. I couldn't do what she wanted – I couldn't live without magic, and life, and people – "