Emilia: Finding My Forever

44|Breathe

The chance of obtaining the only thing I have been working towards since I graduated high school was just taken away from me.

I cried the hardest that I've ever cried before.

I held my throat as it tightened due to the formation of a lump of emotions.

Everything was now sinking in. I had managed to lose the two most important things in my life: Santo and a chance of getting my degree.

Knowing that I couldn't get the degree that I worked so hard for was already painful but losing Santo too was unbearable.

"Does this look like a show to you guys?" I heard him shout to the guards but I was too distorted to look at him. "All of you get back to your posts now!"

I gasped for air as I couldn't breathe.

It hurt so bad that I didn't even know if I wanted to allow myself to breathe.

I started to panic since I didn't know what to do and my vision became blurred.

He immediately ran to me and stooped down next to me. "Emilia, breathe."

I shook my head as I cried harder.

I couldn't do that.

He grabbed me. "Emilia, what are you doing?"

I took a gasp of air as I continued to cry.

I've never felt like this in all my 20 years of life.

"I lost everything," I cried.

"What?" he asked as he started rubbing my back so I could breathe.

"They aren't making me graduate," I cried. "And I lost you. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you, Santo. I wasn't trying to paint you as a psycho. I just wanted to write about you. I just wanted to do something nice."

He stayed quiet as I cried until his chest.

I felt terrible.

I never wanted to hurt him.

"Stop," he told me after he had enough of my crying.

"I can't," I barely managed to say as I sobbed.

He sighed before picking me up from the floor before taking me to our room.

He placed me on the bed. "Where did you sleep last night, Emilia?"

"I was waiting for you to come back but you never did," I told him. "I know I was wrong but was it necessary to treat me like this?"

He stayed silent.

"I thought you trusted me," I said. "You assumed the worst in me and now I can't graduate. Maybe I was the one that needed to see if I could trust you."

He looked on me and I could tell he felt guilty.

"I'm sorry, Emilia," he said but that couldn't bring back the chance of me graduating.

He stood up. "I have to go."

Why did I expect that he would stay and talk with me?

I hoped that even though I lost my opportunity to graduate, maybe I wouldn't lose him too.

I told him the truth. I didn't write about Santo to portray him as a bad person, I wanted to understand him.

I turned away from him. "Of course you do."

"What else do you want me to do Emilia?" He asked sounding mad at me.

I turned to him. "I want you to be my husband and not walk away from me the first time we have trouble!"

"I wanted you to not write a whole essay on me describing me as some deranged man who needs to be studied!"

I stared at him silently as I held back my tears.

He sighed loudly as he angrily ran his hands through his hair.

"I need time Emilia," he said before walking out.

I picked up my phone and dialed my mom's number.

I missed hearing her voice.

"Emilia!" shouted enthusiastically.

"Emilia?" I heard my papa's voice in the background. "Emilia, we've been trying to call you!"

"What? I haven't seen any missed calls."

"Wait," my mother said. "Enzo, have you been calling her on the other number?"

"There is another number?" my papá asked confused.

"Enzo!" she shouted. "You've been calling her on the wrong number."

I smiled when I heard my parents were still at each other's throats. However, no matter how much they fought, they still had an unbreakable bond.

Why couldn't Santo and I be like this?

"What's wrong, Emmy?" My mom asked. "Is everything okay with you and Santo?"

"Not really," I answered honestly. "I did something that he didn't like and then he did something back."

The two were silent for a while before my mom spoke. "Did you know that he wouldn't like it?"

"No, I thought it was ok but I should've asked him."

"Don't worry about Santo," my papá said. "He'll come around. That man is just like me when I was younger."

"How about school, Emmy?" she asked. "At least that's going well right?"

I stayed quiet as my mouth began to quiver.

"Can I come back home?" I cried.