Trained for Sin

Chapter 5- Feeling home

Rosella-

      I spent the rest of the day in the library, re-reading some of my old favorites. I would occasionally peer out the window and see Beau working, talking to my uncle, or playing with one of the children. He had always been such a natural with children. I remember one afternoon six years ago under the cherry trees in the meadow. 

We talked about children and even came up with names. Elane for a girl and Cassius for a boy. After my uncle. The thought of Francis made my smile die down. He never liked the sight of children. It was not a shame. I could not imagine having a child with him. 

Later that evening Biddy came to undress me. "I am so sorry Roe." She began. "I had no idea." There was silence. "I expected nothing less." I said. "He is a beautiful man, and she is a beautiful young lady, and I engaged." I said. Biddy stared at the floor. 

"He loves you Roe. Please remember that." 

I scoffed. "No he does not. We were children, like he said." Biddy sighed. "If you insist Roe, but maybe I know more than you do." She said. "Whatever the case may be, it is over now." I said. She nodded and weaked a smile. "Biddy," I said. "Leave out a blouse and pants for me." She nodded. "Any particular reason you want to go out like a man?" 

I sat on my bed. "I am to go riding, tomorrow morning, alone." She nodded again. "Wonderful idea. I shall let Beau know." Before she left I said, "No, no there is no need, I know how to saddle my horse." She paused and looked at me. "Alright if you insist." 

I got under the covers. "Good night Biddy." She air-kissed me. "Good night Roe." 

The next morning, at the light of dawn I climbed out of bed. The air was cold, and the sun had not yet peaked. I tidied myself and crept downstairs. It felt so strange wearing pants. If anyone saw me they would think I have gone mad. Luckily everyone was far from my chambers. I used the back stairwell and entered the kitchen. 

The cooks were already starting on breakfast. "Rosella darling are you hungry?" I hugged her. Mrs. Beachump was the main cook. She was short and old but I loved her dearly. Like Biddy her Scottish accent was thick. "No, thank you I am just leaving." She muttered to herself. "Wait now let me at least get you an apple dearest." She went into the back and brought me an apple wrapped in linen. "Fresh apples for a fresh day." She said, handing the apple to me. 

She kissed my cheek. "Go on now." I walked out the wooden door, through the gates and ran down the dirt path through a wooded area where the stables were. I peeked inside, making certain no one was there. I saw Maximus in the corner. 

I ran up to him and hugged his face. "Hello, gorgeous. Look how big you got." He neighed down my back as I stroked his mane. He was beautiful, with hair darker than the shiny sky. "Are you ready for some adventures Max?" I said as I saddled him. He neighed as I petted his face and guided him out of the stables. I pulled him to a clearing and climbed on. "You know the way." I said. He was off, he was fast and strong. 

The mountains. Flowers covered the earth. White, purple, red. The earth was blessed. I had never felt so free, so overjoyed. The sun started peeking above the horizon. It covered the land in beautiful rays of sunlight. I found a clearing at the top of the valley and tied Max to a tree before giving him half my apple. 

I sat down on the grass and looked down at the estate. It turned to gold, windows reflecting the vibrant sun. The land came alive as the sun engulfed it in its light. With the mountains, trees, rivers, and lakes, the village bells rang. It was quiet. 

First time in a while my thoughts were quiet as well. I heard twigs snapping behind me. I whipped around and stared at the thickened woods behind me. "Hello?" I said. My voice is shaky. "I know someone is in there." I heard a familiar voice. "Look who ended up in the mountains again." My head shot around. Beau.