Trained for Sin

Chapter 7- The Unthinkable

I woke up that morning and reached my arm out to feel Beau's presence but all I felt were the cold sheets. I rubbed my eyes and got out of bed. I sat down in front of the mirror and looked at the bottom corner. 

The mirror was fixed and a rose lay on top of the table. Beau. The thought of him being in my room as I was sleeping brought me comfort. I twirled the rose around my fingers. Biddy came in shortly and got me ready for the day. "Roe?" she said.

 I looked up at her through the mirror, still in hand. "Where is your ring?" I looked down at my left hand in horror. The ring was still on Beau's table. I got up in a panic. 

"The ring is in Beau's house!" I screamed. Biddy grabbed me by the shoulders trying to sit me down. "What if Francis finds out?" My voice came out as a shriek. 

"Francis will not find out." She said sitting me down again. "You will wear gloves throughout the day. I will tell Beau to get the ring returned to you." Fear struck me as Biddy got me ready. Putting on my white silk gloves I tried to act as naturally as possible. "Go now." Said Biddy. "Your uncle has guests." I played with my fingers. "Who?" I asked. "I do not know."

 I nodded and walked down the hall. I made it to the drawing room and knocked quietly informing them of my presence. "Rosella!" Boasted my uncle. "Please come in." As I walked in I made eye contact with the man and the woman who were in the room. Francis's parents. "Rosella my dear." His mother was a tall woman with large hips. She has red hair which she never let down and her piercing gaze was much more intimidating when she wore dark dresses. Her voice was smooth and silky, almost forced. I kissed her on the cheek.

 "Lady Phillips, what a surprise." I went to his father next. He and Francis were like twins. "Sir Phillips welcome to my uncle's estate." He bowed his head. "It is beautiful this place." He said, his voice was deep and he had a thick British accent. "Can not wait to see what we will do with the ballroom" He said exclaiming. "A ball?" I croaked. 

Francis sat next to me. "Why yes." Said his mother. "To celebrate of course." I forced a smile. "Did Francis tell you, my dear?" Said his mother. "Tell me what?" I said confused. "Oh, how delightful. My lord tell her." She nudged her husband. 

"Right, you two are to be married by the end of the month." My heart stopped beating and my hands went icy cold. I started to tremble. I could barely utter the words. We were not to be wed until the end of the fall season. Francis grabbed my hand with joy beaming across his face. "I did not want to wait to marry the love of my life." He said. 

Lady Phillips laughed and threw her hands up in the air. "Joyous, joyous news! We plan to leave this estate two days before the wedding. This engagement has to be as grand as possible. I want the people of Biltmore to remember Rosella, for they will not see her for a while of course." Said Irene. She looked at my uncle who was slouched in his chair. 

"My lord?" Said, Irene. "Huh?" He snapped into. "Oh yes." His tone was dry. He looked at me I could not however look at him. Irene was ecstatic. "Finally my Lord, time for a celebration!" My breath became more and more shallow as the room bustled with arrangements for the wedding. I could only think of one thing. Beau. I needed to get out of this room. "May I be excused?" I asked. 

The room went silent and all eyes were on me. "Whatever for?" Asked Irene. "I said may I be excused." My voice was flat, stern, unshaken. 

Lady Phillips looked at me, a vulgar expression on her face. 

"Y-yes Rosella, you have been feeling rather ill all week." Said, my uncle. "Lilian may you escort Rosella back to her chambers, darling?" Said Irene. Lilian huffed and walked behind me. I stood up and walked out of the room. Tears streaked my face as I walked towards the front door. Swiftly I opened the door and ran.

 "Rosella where are you going?" Yelled Lilian from the door. I kept running while the echo of my name rang. I ran through the garden and into the woods. Twigs snapped under my feet as my sobbing grew louder. 

Beau was all I needed. 

I did not stop running until I reached his door. I opened it to find no one inside. I walked in and closed the door behind me. 

There was a fire going so he had to be in the area. I took off my gloves and threw them on the floor, falling along with them. I sank and started to cry. What was I to do? What could I do? It felt like my world shattered again into pieces. It felt like I was in chains. I took Francis's ring that was still on the nightstand and held it in the palm of my hand. Disgusting promise. Something caught my attention, however. 

A small box was tucked behind the nightstand. Without hesitation, I took the box and opened it. Inside was a small, delicate, silver ring. I took it out and examined it. There was carving on the inside. "L'amour d'une rose". The ring was mine, it had to be. 

Beau wanted to marry me. 

I wondered how long he had it. Holding each ring in each hand I looked at both of them. Two fates, two choices. I heard rustling in the trees and I quickly put the ring in the box and put it back where I found it. I put on Francis's ring. "Roe?"

 I turned my head to see Beau at the door holding firewood. He dropped them immediately and came to my side.

 "Rosella, please, speak." I could not speak. Only cry. Crying turned into sobbing as he pulled me into his embrace. "A month." I managed to whisper. "A month." I said again. "A month, what Roe?" There was concern in his voice. I swallowed hard before I said, "They want me to marry Francis in a month. I am to marry Francis in a month."

 Terror struck his face. "No." He whispered.

 "Rosella I just got you back I can not lose you again." I held onto him and he held onto me. I cried for what felt like hours. His heartbeat was an only comfort. 

"We will figure this out." He said, stroking the top of my head. "Rosella I love you, I breathe for you, I exist for you. My heart beats for you. Without you I am not a person." He said. I sank into his chest as he said those words, listening to the rhythm of his heart. His heart was erratic. I looked up at him and he wiped the tears from my cheeks. He kissed me.

I woke up in the middle of the night tangled in his arms. It felt like I was in a nightmare. Fishing around for my nightgown I found it laying on the floor along with his and my clothes. 

I got up quietly trying not to wake Beau up. I was breaking his heart again and I knew it. Throwing my dress on I heard his faint voice. "Do you love him?" He said. I was facing him now. I examined the pain and sleeplessness on his face. "No," I said. 

He did not hesitate. "Do you love me?" I sat on the bed. "Yes. Every ounce of me loves you." He inhaled deeply. "Good, because I do not think there is anyone in this world I will be able to love besides you." I kissed him. "Sleep Beau, I know the way back." 

He sat up. "No, it is dangerous." He threw on his clothes and followed me outside. Holding my hand and guiding me through the moonlight he walked me back to the garden gates. "Get some sleep, everything will be okay." He said. I hugged him good night and I watched him disappear into the woods and out of sight.

 I crept into the house and into my room falling asleep.