The Day She Kissed Me

This was a day like any other, I woke to a healthy meal of banana muffins and raspberry tea, a courtesy of my neighbor, who decided to spoil for the heavy lifting I did.

Not to lie, I had to put a relaxed face when I helped them out, turns if you didn't do any exercise for years, you shouldn't pick heavy things. Just don't carry such objects, especially when you are close to your fifties like me.

The breakfast smoothened my sore limbs to a refreshing degree and I spent time, chatting on my family group after Phillips drilled the phone manual into my head. I liked the pictures they all sent for the season and felt accomplished, laughed, made jokes about the love birds of the clan.

When they decided to take a walk to a local diner for their famous steamed chicken pot, I dropped my phone and had my bath.

After I dressed, I received a bowl of homemade lasagna, tortillas and biscuits from Mr. and Mrs. Tolleson. I thanked them for giving me more than I could chew. Sometimes, I had forgotten how nice they were and how they had showered me with attention after the passing of my wife. I don't know what would've been of me, if they didn't check up on me. They gave me my time to grieve and I'm eternally grateful for that.

I took a picture of the foods I was gifted and sent to my family to receive thumbs up, and see my mum pour out her heart about talking to me on Christmas was the best gift she had got in tears. My dad sent an interesting sticker, showing a baby girl giving a side-eye, saying that was the same thing she said to Phillips' friend two hours ago.

We all laughed it off and said our farewells for then. I wore my winter coat and put on my black steady boots I haven't used in the longest time. I opened the door and turned to the Marlene's house, I carried myself to the other side when my body turned like it had a mind of its own and I continued down direction of the street. I stuffed my hand in my coat, feeling cold as I put quite the distance from them.

In that moment, I couldn't help but wonder what I was doing. She wasn't my wife, they weren't my kids, I don't belong there, laughing in the living room and enjoying the day with them. I just don't.

Heading into my house, I removed my coat, boots and changed into one of my plaid shirts with jeans. Coming down, I had my fill of the offerings on my table.

I did everything I could to pass then I dropped myself on the couch and it worked. The day faded into pitch dark, and the day would end.

A knock jolted me awake and moved to the door. I opened it to see Ms. Marlene standing as she hugged herself.

"Can I talk to you?" she asked.

I considered the fact, I didn't need to see a smile or face that resembled Ann. I didn't want to confused or mistaken.

"I won't take long. Five minutes." she added.

"Sure, ready when you are." I allowed myself to bear along as I put on my boots and stepped out. "What do you want?"

I was waiting.

She looked sideways before she lifted her eyes to me with a small smile. "I was going to tell you but I never had the time. I was actually prepared to tell you when you promised to come . . . I—"

I noticed her hair was completely honey brown and complimented her eyes. "I didn't. I said I'll come if I can." I corrected her.

She nodded her head. "You're right."

I waited for her to yell.

"What do you have to say?" I asked. "I need to go in, it's quite late."

She searched my eyes for something, but I kept it blank and just then, she kissed me. I felt her lips on mine and froze until she pulled back and down from her tiptoes.

For a split second, I swore I wanted her to do it, be my Ann. But I tried to shake off the shock of her actions with all my might and ignore the truth. Pretend I didn't know she wanted more like I did for long.

Her smile vanished like it was never there and a sad face masked her. "Me and the kids, we're leaving. We're leaving because I found a great paying job and it's almost home."

I wanted her to stay.

Yet, I stood there as she narrated how she came from there to clear  her mind and get back on her feet. How she had a six month with the house owner, who was a friend of friend. That she mentioned it to everyone and wanted to tell me as well. But I was . . . me. I listened through everything.

Then I watched her walk away without holding her tight or anything. I watched her walk away because I knew I liked Ms. Marlene but I loved her for resembling my late wife.

I couldn't do anything to hurt her, and myself. There was only one in my life and I promised her until death do us apart, after.

And she was Ann Taylor Homer, the woman I loved.

I never saw the Marlene's again, since the she kissed me.

When the new year came and spring arrived, I stood on the top of the highest spot I could find in a beautiful forest in Hämeenllinna, Finland.

"I would've brought you here sooner. But you said you wanted to laid here on our wedding." I looked down at the vessel of my Ann. "God, you're so annoying. You should've dragged me here, I would've loved it." I said with a smile as my eyes swelled up with salt water.

I stepped forward and spread her ashes into the air, and watched them fly away from my reach.

That was how I left my wife go. She made me promised in the first letter we wrote to each other and opened on the first night we forgot bitter that no matter what happened to her, now or in the future, I would forgive myself before I send her off. Of course, I agreed, it was so easy then like one of those films, but now I knew how hard it meant.

With her ashes gone, I became free of the burden I carried for years. I smiled as I felt her hugged me.

Now, I was standing in the Marlene's house that was sold and waited until it opened to see grumpy Mr. Winston, who had lost his wife to cancer before he came here due to Intel from Gael.

"What do you want?" The man old enough to be my father asked, ready to tell me out.

"Nice summer day, isn't it?" I extended the apple pie in my hands with a warm smile. "I'm Jarrod, your new neighbor."