Falling for the unloveable

Losing the kids too

But I don't go home because there is still two kids who are expecting my presence and I won't let them down. They've had enough of that for one lifetime. Throwing the door open, I have to take a few seconds to gather myself before approaching addy and Diego who are sat at a table by themselves, looking as disappointed as ever.

"Hey" I force a closed mouth smile that addy replicates but Diego pouts.
"I want ris ris" he huffs and I crouch down to his level. "Me too buddy" I whisper and he doesn't catch it but by the look addy is giving me I can tell she did. Clearing my throat I pull on a smile again. "I-"
"You made her cry" he accuses with a miniature version of Lu's scowl and I'm lost for words.
"Don't make her cry" Diego warns me with anger seeping into those big brown eyes of his.

"he didn't rocket" my heart freezes as her voice flows through my ears, sounding so close which she may be physically but in all the other ways that matter, she's so far away.
"Ris ris" he gasps, rushing into her arms.
"Elias is here for you so let's not be rude, he's done nothing wrong" Elias. I don't want to be Elias to her, I want to be newbie. Her newbie.

"Sorry" he mumbles shyly and I raise from the floor. "Don't worry about it little man" I ruffle his hair and he giggles. My eyes stray to the girl holding him on her hip but she doesn't look at me and I try to force myself to accept that she won't be coming back to me any time soon.

"Now may I have this dance, rocket?"
"Yes!" She turns toward the dance floor but not before raising my hopes by looking me in the eye. However, it's only to subtly give me the hint to dance with addy. Of course she only spares me attention for one of the kids benefit, that's the only reason she does anything nowadays. I was going to do ask addy without her encouragement but it still reminds me of how she cares so much about the kids. That side of her she could never erase, no matter what she tries.

"May I have this dance addy?" Her eyes snap up to mine in a shocked instant. "Me?" She questions disbelievingly and I nod with a soft grin. "Of course you"
"Well I'm not a very good dancer..." I take her hand and pull her up from her seat gently.
"I'll teach you" we step onto the dance floor that's filled with kids from a range of different ages and genders dancing with one of their parents.

"I'm worried about Iris" she admits when we have finally found a rhythm we are swaying to.
"Iris is strong, she'll be okay" I assure her though I'm starting to doubt it myself. Even the strongest people can only take so much and I'm afraid she's hit her limit. I just don't know why or how.
"Will you?" Her question catches me off guard and I'm unsure of what exactly she's asking but her unrelenting eyes, that watch my face force me to speak.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?"
"The only thing you love more than family and football is Iris and the only thing she loves more than us kids is you. And now you don't have each other so will you be okay to live without her" Jesus Christ this girl is perceptive.
"You sound like Iris you know that right?" She laughs shortly. "I wish I could read people as well as she does" I nod with a smile.

"She is the best at that" my gaze travels to the topic of conversation and I watch her twirl Diego around as he breaks into fits of laughter. Her own face is lit with amusement but she can barely muster up the slightest raise of her lips. "I didn't think that real love existed until I saw you two together" addy draws my attention back to her. "I didn't either...until I met her" I smile sadly.

"Then keep fighting because everyone knows that what you two have only comes once in a lifetime"
"I want to but Iris...is a complicated girl" to say the least. "But she's worth fighting for"
"She is." I agree and she gives me a look that has me sighing, "But I can't fight for someone who doesn't want to be fought for" addy remains quiet after that because she knows I'm right.