housekeeper

33. In the shower.

(Vanessa)

I wake up again from the nurse who are busy early to record my parameters. She sees that I'm awake. "A good morning, Vanessa. I'm almost done, then you can go back to sleep," she whispers to me so as not to wake Dave from his sleep. I look at her tiredly as she asks how my pain is from a scale of zero to ten.

"As long as I'm lying still, it's a two. If I have to walk around a four, I guess. I have to... Vo.... I have to vomi..." The nurse quickly gives me a vomit bag and I empty my stomach with loud vomiting sounds.

I can see through the vomiting that Dave is sitting up and stretching. His sleepy hoarse voice comes closer as he asks, "Feather? Everything all right?"

"Don't worry, Mr. Lavens they didn't hit any vital organs, but they did touch her muscles, and everything has seen almost no food for a few days. I think she ate too much greasiness yesterday. The nurse looks at the empty packages of the Mc Donalds.

Meanwhile, I'm done vomiting and look guiltily in her direction. She smiles at me.

"Next time you will have to stick to a small portion and not too late in the evening. Well, I'm done. The doctor has arranged some appointments for you today. And if you want you can take a shower. My colleagues from the morning shift are going to tape the wound with a water-repellent plaster and then they help you take a shower."

"No, I just want to. No help!"

"Vanessa, they're used to helping people."

"And I don't want to. I want to get back to my normal life as soon as possible. I want to forget this period as soon as possible. I... I...." My breath stops as I try to hold back my tears. Tears still find their way to run from my eyes. My breathing gets faster, and I get stuffy. Dave takes hold of me in a tight embrace and strokes my hair.

"Hey, they won't help you. I will stay in the room and if you need help. Then I'm there. If that's good for the nurse, of course?"

"Of course, Mr. Lavens. And we're a call away. I'll leave you alone. Take some rest. Today is going to be a busy day."

And it's true that it's going to be a busy day. The nurse is with me at 7 o'clock and takes care of my wound. She escorts me to my bathroom and gets everything ready for a shower. She wants to help me with my nightwear, but I refuse. She gives up after a few tries. She turns on the shower before leaving the bathroom. I sit on the chair and look around before I take off my clothes. Which unfortunately I get done with a lot of effort. I hiss as I raise my arms too far and look at my mutilated body in the mirror. Most of the bruises are already healing again. Did they hit me so badly in the kidnapping? I don't remember much of what happened in the kidnapping, just the days they held me, and I almost didn't get any food from Karen. I stand up and walk to the shower. I feel the warm water jets and am happy when I stand under it with my hair and face. I stand for a long time before I spray shampoo in the palm of my hand and raise it to wash my hair. It feels so good to be here. I then take the shower gel but accidentally drop it on the floor. I reach for the bottle and feel a stabbing pain where the bullet wound is. I must have shouted a little too loudly because Dave storms into the bathroom in a panic and is in the shower with me. His T-shirt and boxer shorts are quickly soaked. "What's up, feather?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to get the shower gel and I think I went down too fast. My wound hurt me." Dave turns me around to look at the wound. "No blood on the patch." Then he stays quiet for a while. I turn around and see his pained look. "What's with you?"

"All those bruises on your body. This is all because of me."

"Dave, this isn't your fault. Please don't blame yourself for things others have done," I reply, placing my hand on his cheek.