Nyanko da! (ft Natsume): A Brothers Conflict Fanfic

Chapter 23: Future for Thought

Natsume leans back in his seat. "You want to hear what it was like for me, huh?"

"If you can," I say. Ema nods, deciding to go with the flow on this one. "We're curious about why you decided to move out, how it went, and what it's like afterward. I mean like, if you move away from home, does that become your home, or is your family home still considered your home?"

Those are the questions that I find myself wondering about. I'm not sure if they're the ones on Ema's mind, but they're a good place to start. 

"Is the family home still considered 'home'?" Natsume murmurs to himself. His brows furrow as he plunges into thought. If he didn't already look like a serious guy, his thinking face takes it to a whole other level. 

"Ano, how about start with why you decided to move out?" Ema offers, suggesting we start from the beginning. It's the most logical and easiest place to start in my opinion, but Natsume's brows knit even more.  

"I moved out because it felt like the right choice at the time," he answers cryptically. 

"I... see." 

I squint, considering what exactly he means by that. 

"What do you mean?" Ema asks. Then adds, "Ah, you don't have to tell us if you don't feel comfortable talking about it."

Natsume reaches down toward the floor to where the grey cat from his back now sits on its haunches. With a mewl it stretches so its nose prods Natsume's finger. The cat's eyes are a pale blue, almost fading to grey. 

"It's okay," he says. "In simple terms, I felt it was the right time to fly the nest. There were thirteen of us living in one place for so long, so it felt like a good time to move out. Hika-nii also moved out, so it wasn't like I was the only one leaving home."

Personally, I agree that thirteen brothers living in one place would drive me to want to move out as well. Heck, I only have one brother and I, for one, am glad to have my own space. 

"I totally get that," I say. "Sometimes you just know when it's time for the next chapter of your life."

Natsume nods. It's hard to put into words, but it's true that most times you simply "know" when it's time to go your own way. It happens earlier for some people than others, and other times it does not happen at all. I think what Natsume is saying that above all else, only you can decide if or when you choose to move on. 

"Ano," Ema murmurs, her voice wavering. "What was moving out like for you, Natsume-san? Did it feel... different?"

"Different how?"

She presses her lips together, trying to put her thoughts into words. I could offer up what I think she means, but that would defeat the purpose of getting Ema to speak her mind. I take a sip of my drink as we wait, letting Ema take her time. 

"Different... in life," Ema manages to say. 

Natsume frowns, but he takes it in stride. "Well, for starters it's a lot quieter when it's just you in the house."

"You can say that again," I comment.

"You saw my place," he continues. "It's pretty small, but it's enough for a single person to live comfortably on his own. It's not very big, but it's not meant to be long term. I imagine I'll move to another place sometime in the future."

"You'll move again?" Ema raises her head, almost in shock. I can almost hear the unspoken "Not too far away, I hope?"

Natsume and I exchange glances. Looks like he didn't expect the conversation to turn this way, either. 

"Most people live in a few different places before settling down," Natsume says. "Like if I get a job transfer or get married."

"M-Married..." Ema tries to process it, like she has difficulty imagining her older brother tying the knot. Considering what I know about the Asahina brothers, it does strike me as odd that none out of the thirteen I've met mentioned having a significant other, much less plans to find one. 

I guess everyone goes at their own pace, but those aren't stats you see everyday.

"Well, I hope to get married someday," Natsume says sheepishly. "If I find the right person." He eyes Ema as he says this. She blushes and looks away. 

Meanwhile, I sip my drink quietly, wondering if I've missed something important.

The silence is broken at my surprised yelp. Ema startles, giving me a concerned "Are you alright?" I tell her I'm fine, then point to the cat who's perched itself on my lap and dug its claws in. Ema purses her lips and tries to detach the cat's claws, but the whole ordeal is so awkward that I decide I can suffer a while longer.

"You should check be careful when you get back," Natsume says. "If it's only a puncture then you should be fine, but cat scratches can get infected easily."

"Noted. Arigatou." I shudder to think of how bad a cat scratch infection could get if left untreated. "Anyway..." I cough, steering the conversation back on track. "Getting married would definitely mean moving out if your place is only for singles. My old place only had room for one bed. If I get married there's no way I'd stay in a student pad."

"Well, I live in a regular apartment," Natsume interjects.

I cut him off. "I'm guessing you'll move out if you get married, ne, Ema-chan?"

Ema seems to shrink in on herself all the more. At this point she resembles a deflated balloon. I don't understand her reaction, though maybe the talk of marriage has her overthinking about the future. I backtrack. 

"Like Natsume-san says, we'll probably live in a few different places before we settle down for good. Or, if you're like my cousin you might be on the road for a while longer." I think to one of my many cousins who fled the neighbourhood to see the world. Last I hear they're somewhere in Europe, in a remote village filled with fluffy sheep and good cheese.

"Have you been thinking about moving out?" Natsume asks Ema. 

Eeeehhh?! We're back to this again?

What will Ema say this time? I try not to appear too keen on her answer, nervously sipping my drink again. 

This time Ema squeezes her hands together in her lap. She looks from Natsume, then to me, then bites her lip in a frown. 

"I have been thinking about the future," she begins. Ema fumbles with her sleeves so that they cover her knuckles on both hands. "And I'm scared."