If only...

29.i can't leave her alone

"Go home, and leave me alone. I am not in the mood to talk about anything."
Mon said that in a low voice and with a sharp look with no feelings.

"I'm not here to bother you. Just go home. Please"

"get out of my way for God's sake." She said that angrily. Then she got into the car and started the engine.

" This car will only move over my dead body."
I said that and stood in front of the car, not caring about what would happen next.

If looks could kill, I would have been dead that night. She was looking at me without feelings but annoyance, as if she was trying to fight the demons inside her so as not to start her car engine and step on me to go wherever she wanted.
She closed her eyes, hit the car stove, then got out of the car and started walking in the opposite direction.

"Where are you going?"

"Damn it, CAN YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?.... DON'T ACT LIKE YOU'RE MY MOM."
She said that out loud and took out her anger on me.

"Then don't act like a child who needs someone to take care of him or he will get hurt."
I said that seriously because she was acting recklessly and I completely understand that but she was putting her life in danger.
She looked at me and then ignored me as if I was nothing and continued on her way. I had no other choice but to follow her. she was walking without concentration but I am sure she knew that I was behind her.
She crossed the road even though it was not a crossing zone just to get rid of me. I tried to run after her, but suddenly I froze in place when I saw a car hitting her. At that moment, I could no longer comprehend what was happening around me, but all I wanted was  I reached for her to make sure she was okay, but my legs were not strong enough to carry me. I was really terrified. In a moment, I gathered my strength and ran towards her. She was not unconscious or afraid, but she was holding her hand.

"I swear I did not notice you. The road was empty. You suddenly appeared in front of me."
  The old man who owned the taxi that hit her said that as he looked at her as if he was examining her to make sure she was fine.

" It's okay... It was my fault."
Mon said that and then tried to stand up.

I was shaking and couldn't say anything, but when I tried to help her to stood up she pushed me without saying a word, then she hold her other hand ready to leave as if nothing had happened.

"My daughter, let me take you to the hospital to make sure you are okay."
That old man said that. He wanted to take responsibility for what happened even though it was not his fault.

"There is no need Sir, I am fine and I am sorry for what happened...Good night."
She said that and then started walking towards her house without even hearing a response.
The 5 or 6 people standing at the scene of the accident thought that she was taking drugs or drunk, even if it was not the time Too late, there would have been police to check it.

All the way home, she was walking in front of me, putting her hands in her pockets, as if nothing had happened.

As for me, I walked a few steps behind her. I was afraid, and my hands were still shaking. At that moment, I began to feel angry, but I was trying to control myself.
When we arrived in front door of the house she started looking for the keys to open the door, but it seemed that she dropped them at the scene of the accident.
She was trying to look for something at the top edge of the door, and most likely she was looking for an additional key, but when she raised her hand, she grabbed her ribs in pain. At that moment, I could not play the role of an obedient puppy anymore because I was angry, anxious and afraid. I searched for the key and opened the door without saying anything.

"Thank you. Now you can leave"
Mon said that and then entered.
I entered behind her and closed the door without saying a word.

"I said you can leave."
She said that while gritting her teeth

“You can call the police or kill me. I’m not leaving....Now I will call the doctor to come and examine you.”
I said that while trying not to raise my voice at her.

"YOU WILL NOT CALL ANYONE AND YOU WILL NOT STAY HERE OTHERWISE, I WILL LEAVE THE HOUSE AND GO OUT OF HERE."
STOP ACTING AS if YOU ARE MY GUARDIAN".

"Then stop acting as if you are trying to end your life. I know that you are hurting, sad and angry but that is not how you grieve your father.
You can cry, scream, and break things to release your anger and sadness, but what you do will make him Sad wherever he is, stop acting like a teenager. I said that seriously and angrily.
i said that while I was looking at her directly. Without saying a word, she went up to her room and left me standing in the reception room. I didn’t want to be harsh on her. I wanted to hug her tightly and tell her.  She is not alone but it was like a dream for me so I had no other choice but this way.

That night I couldn't sleep and all I could think of was a way to deal with her to help her move on.
Leaving her alone and walking away was not an option for me, whether she accepted that or not.

.
.
.
.
.
.