20. The Next Move From Here

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He opened his mouth, paused, and then said what he needed to say. "He is, but he seems worried about something. A little before he woke up, he kept mumbling something under his breath, about hiding something. Like a secret it, seemed. Then, as soon as he was awake, he only wanted to see you and you only. I couldn't get him to drink or try and swallow anything. He said that he needed to protect you from something. If anything, he seems lost and frazzled" 

I was worried and concerned for my brother, so I quicky slipped in between Alistair and the door, grasping my hand onto the handle, before something else grabbed my other one. I turned back to Alistair, and he looked like he was exhausted and on the brink of tears at the sight of what he was doing. 

"Annalise, I just want you to know that I am so sorry for the two of you. Not for the position you are in with the whole family side of things, but what happened to the two of you" that confused me even more. He must know what happened to me, but does he know what happened to Aiden. The only thing I could do in the moment was just nod my head, and he let go of my hand, allowing me to enter my brothers hospital room. 

Seeing my brother the way he was, really scared me, almost made me choke on my in breath. He looked so confused and concerned, as he tried to move his body but he just didn't seem to be able to. That same guilty feeling the flushed my body when I was leaving Angus, was now back in full force as I looked at my older brother, knowing that I never should have left his side. 

I felt awful, knowing that he had to go through so much alone, but there wasn't anything I could do to stop it. There was nothing that I could do to prevent it all. What happened, had happened. "Aiden" I murmured, as he looked at me, concern immediately filled his eyes as he stared at me. I watched him open and close his mouth, before he was opening his arms and wiggling his fingers at me. 

It almost felt like I was staring back at a little child, as a small smile played on my face, as I walked over to my older brother, reaching over the small bar on the side of his bed and pulling him in close to me. I hugged his shoulders as tightly as I could. "'M missed you" he murmured into my chest, making everything come to stand still. 

"I missed you too" I muttered back, running my hand through his hair, hoping to soothe him. "Excuse me, but I just need to dose him up for the night" an older woman's voice filtered into the room, and I felt my brothers hands that were holding onto my arms, tighten. If he held me any tighter, I was sure he would bruise my skinny arms. 

"No, don't let her. Please don't let her" the shakiness in his voice scared me, with the panic that filled his tone. I didn't know what to do. He had just come out of surgery and there was no way that I couldn't deny the nurse of his medication that he probably needed so that he could sleep and not be in pain. 

He was in pain. That was what made this whole situation worse was that I knew my own older brother was in pain and he was suffering greatly, but he didn't want to let me go so that he could have his medication dosed up. He was scared, and that terrified me, watching my own older brother clutch to me, with terror of the medication. 

Something had happened to him, and I didn't know. I had bee so caught up in my own world that I had let my older brother slip through the gaps. He was my older brother. "You have to. It will stop the pain, my dear" the lady soothed my older brother, but he just clutched harder. "Dear, you'll have to let your girlfriend go" a pink tinge covered my cheeks, and I tried to tug away from my brother. 

This was beyond embarrassing. "Excuse me lady, but she's my little sister. She is my little sister that I must protect with my entire life, cause I haven't done a good enough job yet" at those words, my entire heart warmed. He had protected me, I guess, in a way, whether some people agreed or disagreed, but hearing my own brother think that he hadn't done a good enough job broke my heart. 

"Oh well then, dear, you still need to let her go so that I can make your leg stop hurting while you sleep" the endearing tone she was using felt like a motherly tone, but I wouldn't know what that was. I had never been spoken that way, and watching my brother go through the emotions, I could tell that he hadn't either. 

"Ok" he sounded so defeated as he let me step back for the woman. I wish I had walked out, or at least turned away, because I had to watch not only my brother be injected, but watch him lose himself, and close his eyes. It felt like I was watching him die, but I knew that I wasn't. I hoped that I wasn't. 

"Ana, Angus needs you" and with that, I quickly stepped over to my brother, giving him a kiss on the forehead, before I was following Alistair. I was so scared, I took a glance back, knowing I would be back as soon as I could. I followed Alistair, into Angus' room, and saw another sight that would be with me for a long time. 

Thrashing in his bed, he was looking around, with anger in his body. I quickly hid behind Alistair, clutching onto the back of his jumper, peaking around at the boy that had been holding me a few hours ago. "Angus, she's here. Calm down" Alistair grabbed my hand, and gently tried to pull me around as Angus slowly calmed down. 

"Ana" he breathed, as I stepped closer to him, letting go of Alistair's hand, as I hesitated. Angus reached over the bed the best that he could, trying to reach out to me. I will admit, I was a little scared, but I still let him pull me into him and hug me as tight as he needed. I breathed in his faint scent and I was immediately calmed and comforted. 

"Where did you go?" he questioned sadly, as he kept his nose buried in my neck, pressing a kiss there, before he settled down, waiting for my response. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach at the action, never have been touched this way by a boy. "uhm, I went to see my brother" the sight I had seen before I left him fluttered into my eyesight, before I blinked the tears away. 

"How was he?" he pulled me closer, trying to pull me up onto the bed. I pulled away, to get up on the bed, before he was dragging me up to be next to him, where he could wrap his arm around my shoulders, and into his chest. I felt more comforted this way than I had ever felt. This was all weird and I had no idea what was going on between the two of us. 

I had to keep reminding myself that this was my brothers best friend, not just some boy from school. They played hockey together too. "It was scary, seeing him so detatched from reality and everything. He's my older brother, and I don't know who he is"

That made it hard, thinking of my older brother. I had two older siblings, but even then, I didn't know where we stood with them, even though they were dead. Where were our parents? Did we have another family? What was going to happen to us if we didn't? What was the next step from here, once my brother eventually gets dismissed from hospital? 

Will I ever see Angus again, or will this be the last time between the two of us? As I settled into my thoughts, Angus was talking to a doctor about his pain, while a letter was placed into my hands, as I looked up to see Archer, with a sad smile, before I looked across to Alistair, whom shared the same expression. 

What was going on? 

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thoughts? xx

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thoughts? xx

Annalise and Angus, huh? 

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