Storm's Mafia Princess

Drunk

I finally manage to bring him to the bed and as I try to lay him down, he pulls me with him. He buries his face in my neck while his arms are wrapped a little under my chest.

"Julian!" I gasp and try to get him off me but his hold tightens as he mumbles, "don't leave me" and I seize all my movements.

"I never liked going to kindergarten." I knew he's telling me something he'd rather not want to share when he's sober and I hate being so selfish and letting him continue.

"But she forced me to so I did, only because I knew that's what she wanted." I stay silent.

"She knew I hate it so she'd always come to pick me up. It was the only thing I looked forward to the whole day." I hum to let him know I'm listening.

"One day when we got home, she threw up. I was so worried but she assured everything was ok. I guess she was pregnant with you." He chuckles dryly.

"The next morning I saw tears in her eyes when she dropped me and my bloody mind started making up scenarios of her being sick." I hear him sniffle but he isn't crying.

"I was out of my mind the whole day but I knew she'll be there to pick me up. Instead, dad came. I asked him why mom wasn't there but he kept dodging the question."

I felt something wet trickle down my neck. He's crying and my heart clenches seeing him so vulnerable.

"When we got home, he told me my mom died. I was just five. What the hell was I supposed to do than blame myself? If only I had taken better care of her than she might not have had a heart attack." He lets out a breath that sounds like a laugh but it wasn't.

"We had a funeral for her and I fucking cried like a pussy." He spat venomously. "She made me look like a fool. My whole life I thought she was an angel that was unfairly taken from me. But she a monster who didn't care for any of us but herself." I slowly bring my hand to his hair and message his scalp.

"She wanted to leave even before she knew she was pregnant. It was just an accuse that you'll have a good fucking life. She wanted to be out of this Mafia shit even if it meant leaving her family behind."

"I'm so sorry, Julian. Nobody deserves to have gone through that." I mumble as a tear slides off my eye.

"I was never the same after that. No one but dad was able to get through me. I shut people off. I couldn't live with the guilt that maybe I could've saved her."

"Deep down I knew it was foolish but I held onto it. I isolated to punish myself. Dad finally convinced me for therapy three years ago and now when I was finally getting better, that excuse of a mother dies for real this time."

He sucks in a harsh breath and continues. "It was horrible as is but when I came to know that dad fought to keep each of his children but let you go with her, it just.... Why didn't she choose me? Why couldn't she take me with her?.... I always thought I was her favorite." He sobbed.

I never thought my brother was so broken and seeing him this miserable, broke every part of me that had ever thought my mother was selfless.

"Dad tried his best to be there for me but no matter what he did, I wanted my mum back but I couldn't have her. He saw me suffering everyday and she knew too that I'd be dying without her but it didn't matter to them. I didn't matter to them."

"Unlike the twins who were always close to dad, Ewan and I always went to mom for everything. And a part in both of us died with her." He shook his head. "Mine made me a selective mute for years but Ewan's made him ruthless. He took out his anger on everyone and everything."

"Mom was the only one who could calm him. With her gone, he confided in Cyrus but he too can't keep him in check when he's really out of it."

"Adeline?" He calls out even though my whole attention is already on him.