Always been u

Her trauma

-No not now Chris, she says.

-I have to talk to you Nia!, I say.

-How drunk are you?, she asks.

-Please Nia, I say and touches her hair.

She turn away from me.

-Stop. Get away, she says.

-I just want to talk to you, I say.

-I don't, she says.

For some reason I'm getting so angry. Because I'm trying and she doesn't let me.

-Fine, I say and walk into the house again.

After a while her and her friends are getting into the house too. I make sure she sees me when I walk up to the first girl I see. I kiss her before saying hi. She kiss me back. We stand there making out for a while. I look at Nia and smile. She directly kiss the boy next to her. He kiss her too. He place his hand on her ass and she is smiling on his lips. She's wearing a black, tight and very short skirt. And she has a see trough tank top so that her bra is showing a lot. Her hair looks perfect. And her face is too. Like always. The pain is starting to get trough the feeling of being drunk. I get a drink and drink the whole drink in one time. Then I take the girl and make out with her again. I'm touching her like that guy touched Nia. She stops kissing me.

-I'm Layla, she says.

-Chris, I say and then I keep on kissing her.

She's so wrong. Don't get me wrong, she's beautiful. And she's probably a good person. But she's not Nia. No cause Nia is kissing someone else. I stop and look around after Nia. She's gone. And that guy too. I start panic and push away the girl.

-What's your problem?, she asks.

-Sorry. Thought u were somebody else, I say and walks away from her.

I run upstairs and open a door. I see them. They are wearing clothes still but that was almost. I drag her up from him.

-Stop!, she says.

I drag her with me. I don't care about anything. I just get her out of the house. She lean to the wall with her back.

-You have to stop!, she's screaming.

-I can't!, I scream back.

-Don't you understand that your ruin my life? I don't want you here anymore. You have to leave me alone!, she says with tears in her eyes.

-But I love you so bad. We're meant to be. Things are getting wrong sometimes. Life goes on, I say and I'm close to crying too.

-Yes your right. But we were wrong Chris. We just hurt each other. And life goes on. Our life's will go on. Without each other, she says.

-No no. I can't life without you!, I say.

-I don't care, she says.

-I love you. Please just forgive me, I say.

-I can never forgive u Chris, she says.

I see red when she says that. Alcohol and heartbreak are not a good thing to blend.

-Your not saying that!, I scream.

-Yea I am, she says.

She sees in my eyes how angry I am. She moves to get in again. I push her hard into the wall again. She looks scared.

-Your fucking whore. Your telling me everything I've done. But have you forgot everything you've done?, I scream into her ear.

She sobs with closed eyes.

-No cause your a perfect little princess in your eyes? But your not!, I scream.

She looks up at me.

-Please stop. I can't do this, she cries.

I place my hand around her throat hard and lush her into the wall. She struggling to breath.

-I hate u Nia!, I scream.

The noice of her trying to breath isn't getting to me.

-Stop with that Chris!!, Nathan screams.

I don't. He push me away and I let go of Nia. Nia's weak to her knees. She's trying to breath. She's crying. She throws up while not being able to breath. My friends are trying to help her. That's the moment my drunk brain understands. The moment I remember. Her trauma. Her last boyfriend abused her. I just did.

-I'm sorry Nia, I scream and start crying.

She's breathing loud and sits down on the ground when she doesn't throw up anymore.

-I'm sorry!, I'm crying.

-It's.. fine.. just.. go, she says.

Simon takes me away into the house again. Who the fuck am i?